Selfhosted
A place to share alternatives to popular online services that can be self-hosted without giving up privacy or locking you into a service you don't control.
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Agreed, and well-articulated. I think you (OP) need to ask yourself whether you’re willing to pay the appropriate market rate for the service or not. I don’t know what that is, but I expect it’s higher than you’ve expressed.
Have a look at purelymail mentioned by others. It's almost exactly what I'm looking for.
I would have thought this is a disqualifier in terms of quality of the service, but if that's acceptable to you then I'm glad you got something that works.