this post was submitted on 28 Jul 2023
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What did "that one" person do to you which made you cut them out of your life? (lemm.ee)
submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by shackleford@lemm.ee to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world
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Or, alternatively, what did you do to another person which got you blacklisted from their life?

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[–] rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

It's an ongoing process. Therapy helps, as does a truly understanding partner.

When I started dating again, my past crappy experience ended up contributing to my now-wife and I hitting it off so well:

  • We both happened to have been through Some Shit before as these things go.
  • We shared understanding and sympathy about what it's like to be manipulated and treated poorly by toxic people.
  • We were both confident about what we were and were not interested in, and were comfortable asserting ourselves about our own needs as well as listening and accommodating one another's.
  • We were also both living independently and staying afloat on our own, so if our dating didn't work out ending the relationship wouldn't have cost either of us our home/job/etc. (In my abusive situation this had not been the case.)