this post was submitted on 16 Oct 2023
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Mildly Infuriating
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That entire industry is a toxic hell-scape. It went downhill real fast once they realized that helping people actually find each other also means they stop being a customer. So now these apps tune their algorithms to either ping-pong you between hope and misery, or find you one-night-stand after one-night-stand. They only really work for people who want casual encounters, because they come back for more. Looking for something serious, and you might as well eat shit and die, because you're not using the app in a way that's profitable.
They show each user everyone except the people they'd actually want to meet and get to know. You won't even get lays with people you might actually like, because they want you back to swiping for another person asap.
I'm old enough to remember pre-internet matchmaking services. They were the butt of endless jokes, laughably bad, and anyone who used them tended to keep it a secret. People generally thought of you as a pathetic loser if you admitted to using them. They varied wildly in quality from service to service. And yet, they may have been better than the apps millions of people use today on their phones.
Using those old services, you might go on some lousy dates back in the day, but at least you went on a real date and tried to be your best and act in good faith (rather than lazily swipe past everyone in rapid-fire judgement mode).
Maybe it's nostalgia talking, but I think it was less cynical. An actual human being was in the middle of the process to try and help make the matches. The old system was highly flawed, and perhaps a waste of money. But maybe better than a profit-focused algorithm written by socially awkward coders and tech bros.
I had a friend back in the day constantly dating women from the phone-in dating services. He was having a blast, apparently.
I thought the original point was the casual encounters, for the obviously self-defeating nature of the algo otherwise. It became a hellscape when people got on "just to meet people"