Asklemmy

43945 readers

493 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

Open-ended question
Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Lemmyverse: community search
sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
!lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 5 years ago

MODERATORS

315

People who can don't get mad and just go with the flow, how do you do it? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 11 months ago by hactar42@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

172 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Here recently it seems like everything just gets under my skin so quickly and easily. It's not that I get mad and take it out on others, it's just the fact that I'm constantly annoyed and stressed. Something as simple as the dogs tracking some mud through the house will just ruin my mood. I know some people who would just laugh it off and clean it up. Meanwhile I'll get pissed that I didn't wipe their feet and be mad the entire time I'm cleaning it up. This has nothing to do with the dogs, it just an example. Any number of seemingly insignificant things can trigger me like that. Like forgetting something at the store and having to go back. I would love to be able to go, "well that sucks" and just get over it.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] fruitycoder@sh.itjust.works 3 points 11 months ago

I sometimes just sit down and figure out why something happened and try to figure out what I could do to fix it. If I was really mad about it I would let myself think about how far I would go to make it happen, what would I give up, what extraordinary lengths I would go to fix it. Normally, most things, are just absurd to think about like that. Like if I really didn't want my dogs stepping in mud maybe I could get rid of all the dirt in the yard, maybe make a little AI powered spraying bot to wash their feet, maybe get a second job and hire a guy that just hangs out by my back door to wash their feet. If I'm still feeling it, I mean really think about it, I mean maybe there is a way to reduce the dirt outside, maybe a rug to clean their feet, etc. Normally I go "oh that's WAY too much work" and I just think about the imaginary Tim that would be wiping my dog's feet instead of me, and it makes me chuckle.

The other one is just comparing the consequences. Like what if I didn't clean the dog's feet. They would track mud in for sure, and ? Like, maybe, I get some mud on my feet? Maybe on the couch and on my arms? If I get mud on me, what happens? What's the consequence of getting muddy? Is it really that bad? Can't I just wash it off?

The latter is what my therapist helped me with, I worked a life and death kind of job for a bit, where things really had to work just right or people could get really hurt or worse, I was taking that anxiety back with me and applying it to all the little things I also wanted or cared about. I really had to take a step back more on things and go "So what?" to more things, and I got better about being able to role with the little punches again.