this post was submitted on 01 Feb 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] MeatPilot@lemmy.world 33 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

Sometimes you can find instructions for different ways to cook a pizza on the back of the box. For example I checked mine and underneath airfry and oven instructions there was instructions for "nuclear blast"...

Nuclear Blast

Remove pizza from all packaging and shrink wrap. Be sure to remove and discard the cardboard tray.

Place pizza on metal baking tray within a clear path of the blast source. Do not use glass cookware as it might shatter.

About 5 miles out from the blast source. Find a sturdy structure, like a rock deeply embedded into the ground.

Place pizza on the tray and tilt tray to a 45 degree angle on the rock. Angling toward the blast to evenly cook.

Bake for 5secs for 15 kiloton yield atomic bombs or until pizza is golden brown. Grab pizza and run to shelter before the shockwave hits. If the shockwave hits your pizza it will disintegrate.

All atomic bombs cook differently, so be sure to keep an eye on your pizza as it cooks and not the blast. Pizza is done when the cheese is melted and edges are golden brown.

[–] GreenSkree@lemmy.world 19 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Pretty sure this isn't real guys. There's no "Do not thaw pizza" clause.

[–] theneverfox@pawb.social 6 points 10 months ago

Nah, the uv light wipes out any bacterial concerns

[–] AFKBRBChocolate@lemmy.world 16 points 10 months ago

Damn, my nuclear bomb is only 8 kiloton and I never know how to convert.