this post was submitted on 06 May 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

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[–] DopePriest@lemmy.world 82 points 6 months ago

I hate this so much. Enjoy your upvote.

[–] Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 58 points 6 months ago

screaming slide whistle noises

[–] clark@midwest.social 48 points 6 months ago (2 children)

I’m a woman and still I find this meme gives me the heebiejeebies. Stop that.

[–] aBundleOfFerrets@sh.itjust.works 29 points 6 months ago

You have a urethra, too. And you can even put things in it. Stop supporting the patriarchy.

[–] OneWomanCreamTeam@sh.itjust.works 16 points 6 months ago

We've all got a urethra.

[–] PM_ME_VINTAGE_30S@lemmy.sdf.org 40 points 6 months ago (3 children)

I mean how else are you supposed to unclog your cock?

[–] snooggums@midwest.social 11 points 6 months ago (1 children)

A bamboo chopstick would be better for the environment.

[–] T00l_shed@lemmy.world 3 points 6 months ago

Extra splintery

[–] Toldry@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago
[–] dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works 4 points 6 months ago

I usually use the heel of my hand and hit it right on the 57.

[–] sunbrrnslapper@lemmy.world 28 points 6 months ago (2 children)
[–] Vej@lemm.ee 21 points 6 months ago

It's fresher this way.

[–] wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 8 points 6 months ago

So it doesn't stain or errode your teeth.

[–] GBU_28@lemm.ee 24 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Would an internally rifled straw provide maximum jizz ballistics?

[–] PainInTheAES@lemmy.world 13 points 6 months ago
[–] Num10ck@lemmy.world 22 points 6 months ago (4 children)

i know some people are into this and its called sounding, but i dont know why they would like it?

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 15 points 6 months ago (2 children)

there used to be a coffee shop in London that had a huge glass display case of penile sounding rods

[–] modifier@lemmy.ca 17 points 6 months ago

I just know that my brain unilaterally decided to made room for this fact in deep storage immediately, I just wish I knew how important whatever got tossed to make room was.

[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Did you use past tense because they sold out?

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 2 points 6 months ago (3 children)

I think they were a victim of the pandemi

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[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 13 points 6 months ago (1 children)

There are more nerves inside the penis than outside.

[–] Toldry@lemmy.world 1 points 6 months ago

Are there actually?

[–] PenisWenisGenius@lemmynsfw.com 11 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (3 children)

Because once you get good at sounding, you can get a hollow sounding rod inserted in there and get your partner to pee in your bladder so you can pee it all back out all over him.

Not that I know anything about that.

[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 3 points 6 months ago

Well, that's enough internet for today.

[–] daltotron@lemmy.world 3 points 6 months ago

woah, that's like advanced piss docking, I've only seen that in my animes. nice.

[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 2 points 6 months ago

I think it is a masochism thing

[–] nicknonya@lemmy.blahaj.zone 18 points 6 months ago

more of a trombone situation really

[–] Assman@sh.itjust.works 16 points 6 months ago
[–] FlihpFlorp@lemm.ee 14 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Thanks. This is definitely something I needed to see while eating

[–] EdibleFriend@lemmy.world 21 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Is this around when you normally eat? I would like to schedule sending this to you on a daily basis.

[–] FlihpFlorp@lemm.ee 10 points 6 months ago (2 children)

I eat when I’m hungry AND remember to eat

Those conditions must both be met so you will never track my eating habits

[–] HappycamperNZ@lemmy.world 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Alexa, set reminder on this guys eating times

Well, you're fucked now

[–] FlihpFlorp@lemm.ee 3 points 6 months ago

NOOOOO HEALTHY HABITS

MY ONLY WEAKNESS

[–] EdibleFriend@lemmy.world 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Or have I planted a seed in your mind so now it will pop into your head when you eat all by itself.

[–] FlihpFlorp@lemm.ee 4 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Dear god too powerful

Edit: spelling

[–] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 12 points 6 months ago

You ever accidentally stab your mouth with a straw?

Yeah. Imagine that but like a bajillion times worse.

[–] Vej@lemm.ee 10 points 6 months ago

Where do I find this level of unhinged memes? I mortified my friend with this. And he requires more.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 9 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

The numerous amount of people who suck at singing without lessons prove that addage incorrect.

[–] DirkMcCallahan@lemmy.world 7 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Life is just one long, hard kick in the urethra, and sometimes when you get home from a long day of getting kicked in the urethra, you just want to watch a show about good, likable people who love each other, where, you know, no matter what happens, at the end of 30 minutes, everything's gonna turn out okay.

[–] Baylahoo@lemmy.world 2 points 6 months ago

I can vibe with this. Better use a straw to help protect from those kicks to better enjoy the show.

[–] kamenlady@lemmy.world 6 points 6 months ago

It doesn't require lessons and it sounds good.

So i heard.

[–] nxdefiant@startrek.website 5 points 6 months ago

Yo Bro, Nah.

[–] TerraNova@lemmy.ca 5 points 6 months ago

Urethra, I have found it!

[–] FoxyGrandpa@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago

Lol more like me_irl, amirite fellas???

[–] Son_of_dad@lemmy.world 3 points 6 months ago

"yo yo ma!"

-Kramer

[–] usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] PipedLinkBot@feddit.rocks 1 points 6 months ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

Like this?

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

[–] peopleproblems@lemmy.world 3 points 6 months ago

The only thing I can explain how uncomfortable this is to read is that it's like trying to imagine scraping your nails on a old timey chalkboard

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