this post was submitted on 19 Aug 2023
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Data Is Beautiful

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[–] PowerCrazy@lemmy.ml 97 points 1 year ago (3 children)

This is a bad chart with lots of data issues. It apparently consists of two points, 1995 and 2017. The source is some data aggregator that isn't clear, and of course the differentiation between the categories is non-existent. what is the difference between "church," "friends," or "neighbors?" What is the difference between "school" and "college."

That said obviously there are more "online" couples between 1995 where the only options were AOL or IRC chatrooms and 2017 where actual dating apps existed that were easily accessible via your phone.

My Take: I agree the internet has changed society in the past 22 years. Thanks shitty chart from reddit. I now have a greater awareness of the significance of the internet.

[–] ArcticPrincess@lemmy.ml 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

The perfect colinearity of most of the lines is very suspicious too.

[–] isVeryLoud@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 year ago

c/dataisugly

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[–] The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world 54 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I don't buy that Bar/Restaurant has steadily increased as people have become more isolated.

My guess is it's a self-reporting error, where people meet on dating apps, but are reporting where they first met in person.

[–] kboy101222@lemm.ee 18 points 1 year ago

The data ends in 2017. 6 year old data is pretty useless considering how much has changed in just the last 3

[–] Dagnet@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

Gotta remember it's only a percentage. Maybe the number didn't grow at all, just didn't decrease much as the others (and might include nightclubs too)

[–] DrQuint@lemm.ee 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

It's not steadily. They only have two data points. All lines are straight. You can pretty much ignore what happens between the two years at the start and end, and you can also ignore any apparent trend because, hell, the last year might be an outlier, or maybe bars has been higher and is now trending down.

[–] jaschen@lemm.ee 30 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I met my wife from a friend who I met online. So I indirectly met my wife online.

[–] kersk@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Did you meet your online friend through your college's online church group and then discover they lived next door to you? :P

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[–] Default_Defect@midwest.social 29 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I can't bring myself to try online dating, my friend that hit the jackpot and ended up marrying the first girl he went on a date with through whatever app he used tells me it works, as if his experience is absolute, but I hear about too many people getting ghosted by shallow dates to want to try. My self esteem couldn't take it.

[–] space_comrade@hexbear.net 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Oh yeah that happens a lot, especially if you're a dude. You just kinda have to learn to not take it personally, it's just the nature of those platforms unfortunately, they want you to use the app for as long as possible.

Dating apps shouldn't be for-profit businesses IMO, it just fucks everything up.

[–] Tankiedesantski@hexbear.net 10 points 1 year ago

Yeah, it sucks that you really have to treat dating as a numbers game (as in if I meet enough people, I'll eventually meet someone who likes me) and suppress the part of yourself that wants to get invested in each person you date.

I ended up together with my SO who I met online, but I wouldn't wish the process leading up to meeting her on anyone.

[–] DrMango@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago

This is anecdotal of course, but probably a good 60% or more of my friends and younger family members have met their long-term partners "on Tinder." I started dating my wife just weeks before the app launched in our area, but as far as I've seen it's a valid way to find yourself a spouse if that's what you're into

[–] socsa@lemmy.ml 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It helps if you have thick skin. It is definitely tough if you don't deal with rejection well. Though I will say that it can help you develop some of those traits.

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[–] CaptainAlchemy@lemm.ee 19 points 1 year ago (9 children)

Perhaps I'm just paranoid, anxious and completely unfixable but I personally hate the concept of online dating. I feel like it's the same problem I have with most online services, being a product to advertisers and nothing more then a number. Once again it's probably me being paranoid but I'm at a point where I would rather just not go through the trouble of dating at all, especially since this data is from 2017 and has most likely favoured online dating further

[–] aaaaaaadjsf@hexbear.net 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Same, I agree mostly. Though I find being able to date offline and in real life, for lack of better terms, to be worth it. It also puts you ahead of all the people who just use online dating in a way, because you have a real connection with the person you are talking to.

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[–] tinyVoltron@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

My wife and I met on match.com. We bonded over our love of cats. We celebrated our 20th anniversary of our first date in March. We lived 5 miles apart before we met. We never would have met without the Internet.

[–] jeffw@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

Odd to see so much hate on this thread for online dating. Maybe half of my relationships as an adult came from online dating, including my wife.

[–] EnsignRedshirt@hexbear.net 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

“Online” needs to be broken down into “dating app” and “met playing World of Warcraft”

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 8 points 1 year ago

I know people that met in Everquest 2 I-was-saying

[–] clara@feddit.uk 16 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

the implication of this, is that algorithms now have actual influence on the natural selection of humans. small influence of course, but, unsettling to think about for too long.

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[–] Awoo@hexbear.net 16 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Absolutely everything in your life can and will be turned into a commodity of capitalism for someone else to profit from, including the simple act of meeting other people. Community? That will be destroyed if it will help a millionaire make more money. Society will be atomised into little individual boxes for each person where they can then be turned into numbers and easily fed into algorithms that allow someone to profit.

Something that has been natural through community building and real social relationships people care about for thousands of years will be destroyed, there is in fact a profit motive to do so.

It's no wonder that loneliness is also at an all time high.

[–] aaaaaaadjsf@hexbear.net 8 points 1 year ago

Yeah I hate the commodification of every aspect of our lives. I'll hold out from using the dating apps for as long as possible

[–] Tankiedesantski@hexbear.net 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Even setting aside dating apps, most irl spaces where it's generally socially acceptable to meet people are already profit oriented. I'm sure that a big part of this is because of creeps ruining it for everyone else by hitting on everyone at a park or whatever, but sometimes I wonder if part of it isn't also business owners trying to push people into bars and clubs.

[–] aaaaaaadjsf@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

In a lot of irl spaces where I live, women can enter on discounted prices or for free, and this is done by the ownership to prevent the bar or club from becoming a sausage fest. Online dating doesn't have that, so it ends up with 80% of the userbase being guys, and all the issues that causes.

I'm not saying that online dating needs to copy that model and start getting gross/sleazy promoters, I'm just saying there's a reason why it's used at clubs and bars. A more equal gender split would do a lot to improve the online dating experience.

[–] aaaaaaadjsf@hexbear.net 15 points 1 year ago (9 children)
[–] space_comrade@hexbear.net 10 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Why? Online spaces can be great places for strangers to meet in safety, especially introverts.

The reason online dating sucks isn't because of anything inherent to online dating but because of the profit motive.

[–] aaaaaaadjsf@hexbear.net 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

But the profit motive is inherent to all the online dating apps. It's what decides how the algorithms work. There is no app for just meeting people seperate from that.

[–] space_comrade@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

True, but I feel like they got much worse over the last 3-4 years. Before that they weren't trying to nickel-and-dime you for every single button press.

10 years ago when I met my partner online I didn't pay for anything.

[–] aaaaaaadjsf@hexbear.net 5 points 1 year ago

It's definitely getting worse across the board with everything lately, that's true. 5-10 years ago online dating was probably a ton better.

[–] Barabas@hexbear.net 10 points 1 year ago

The reason online dating sucks isn't because of anything inherent to online dating but because of the profit motive.

I agree, if things were different they'd be different. However, things are like they are.

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[–] ryven@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Were 11% of people in 2017 really out there dating their coworkers? Isn't that hella awkward? What are you going to do if you have a messy breakup and you still have to see each other every day?

[–] 7heo@lemmy.ml 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

"As coworkers" just mean "met through work", nothing else. It could also be that a majority of those 11% met in conditions that make is "sane" to date, meaning people who have absolutely nothing to do with one another at work, or one left, was about to leave, or temps (sales reps, contractors, etc).

If nothing else this shows how prevalent work is in life, and how lacking the other general dating options are...

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[–] MonkCanatella@sh.itjust.works 14 points 1 year ago (7 children)

This is a really weird graph and kinda the opposite of "data is beautiful" lol

[–] 999@kbin.social 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yeah, it's more of a "data exists, kind of."

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[–] TheLepidopterists@hexbear.net 13 points 1 year ago

Visualization of our society becoming hyper atomized in real time. Can't meet via friends if you have no friends.

[–] CorrodedCranium@leminal.space 13 points 1 year ago

I'd be curious to see a more year-by-year breakdown. I feel like a lot of those would fluctuate.

[–] _thebrain_@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I met my future wife in irc in 1994. In 1996 she moved from where she was to my state, and then in 2000 we got married, and have been ever since. The Internet was way different back then. I tell that to anyone using one of the current/past crop of dating apps.

[–] Bitrot@lemmy.sdf.org 5 points 1 year ago

IRC was nice because you’re bullshitting in a giant group and maybe eventually you might find someone interesting. Interaction in dating apps seem like it would be so forced.

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[–] AFKBRBChocolate@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

On the one hand, on the surface, my wife and I seem to anecdotally validate the data since we met online. On the other hand, it was 1994, and it was just a discussion BBS, not a dating site. We talked online for a few months before we met, and even then it was just a site meet-and-greet at a pizza place. We didn't start dating until months after that.

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