Asklemmy

weed

Well, it’s not something I do as much as it is just who I am. I never choose to just be chill, it’s just that I very rarely get annoyed or mad. Even the rare times I do, I can often just breathe out and force a genuine smile thinking about everything nice and beautiful, and it just doesn’t stick. I get happy and content and will just clean up and laugh or facepalm at my clumsiness or dumbness or whatever. I’m a serious goof though. Maybe it’s easier if you don’t (and simply can’t) take yourself too seriously.

It's a combination of a few things. I've always been fairly chill, and I think these factors help further that zen.

Having a potent sense of humor makes it easy to laugh off anything from mundane to tragic. Always preferred to "laugh, so I don't cry." Easily my biggest coping mechanism.

Another good method I heard was this perspective exercise. When something irks you, stop and think "will I still be upset about this a week from now, month from now, year from now?" Usually the answer is no, I'll have completely forgotten about this mild inconvenience. If it's something I'll be upset about a year out, then I'm justified being upset in the moment.

Finally, another tool of perspective is the cosmic absurdity of it all. Here we are, sharing this tiny mossy pebble of a space ship called Earth, in the middle of the goddamn boondocks of outer space. If this entire planet disappeared overnight, the universe at large wouldn't even notice. For an inconceivable distance in every direction is a cosmic lifeless void. In the absolute grand scheme of things, all these little grievances are so insignificant. It's insane that any of us are here. We'll return to infinite nothingness soon enough. Take a deep breath, enjoy the ride while it lasts.

Idk maybe hit a joint once in a while too lol

This is my husband and I ask him on a regular basis. I still have no idea.

Get enough sleep, is my first and most important strategy.

I went through periods like that off and on my entire life until I was diagnosed with ADHD in my late 30s. What I've come to find out is that generally those periods have an underlying cause. Figure out/tend to the cause, and these effects lessen drastically.

Everyone is different so that may not necessarily apply to you, but I'm hoping that describing my experience may help you in some way.

It’s a slow process to change how you think. You need to recognize when you have negative thoughts or emotions and correct/remind yourself to have a different response. An example I have, a teen ran a stop sign and gave me the finger. Of course my feelings were anger and frustration. To have it stop bothering me I kind of have to Laugh it off. Try to laugh or chuckle at how they were possibly trying to show off to their passenger. Silly, stupid and dangerous, so laugh at that, like really they think that’s cool aha. It sounds silly but there are some opposite emotions that you can’t feel at the same time. Like anger and laughter, depression and gratitude. It’s slow to change how you think. Be patient and kind to yourself. Everytime you recognize negative thinking is a positive step.

I also have difficulty remembering things. Again it sounds silly but post it notes works for me. On the yard door “wipe paws”. On the coffee maker in the morning “take pills”. Bathroom mirror “brush teeth” rather than forgetting and getting upset at myself, I’m reminded before it’s a problem.

Just some of the things I’ve learned from therapy that have been helpful to me

This probably isn't a helpful response, but for me, once something is inevitable I don't see a point in getting upset, so I don't. For instance I' the dogs tracv dirt through the house, I'd definitely be a bit annoyed that I have to clean it up, but actually letting it get to me would only serve to make my night worse.

The easiest way someone explain this to me which really made it click -

Something potentially annoying or shitty happens... Think about how long it will actually matter for.

Will it matter in an hour? Will it matter in a day? Will it matter in a month? What about a year?

The longer it actually matters for, the more emotional effort you can feel justified putting into it.

I guarantee that the dogs tracking muddy footprints through the house won't matter in an hour - and just answering that question for yourself usually takes all the charge out of your emotion.

If it will matter in a year such as something big like a relationship crisis that could upheave your life.... Well maybe it's actually worth getting stressed about.

The best part about this is you can actually lie to everyone else, but you cannot lie to yourself about how long it will matter for and just asking yourself the question has the effect whether or not you want to be angry and say yes it will matter.

Train yourself to observe yourself. With some practice, you can kind of see yourself from an outside perspective. Watching yourself have a tantrum over spilling some water, or banging your head or whatever, is pretty funny.

Marijuana

Punch a homeless dude