overview for McUberStein

I'm sorry. I'm the worst by McUberStein in c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone

[-] McUberStein@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 day ago

Thank youu 😭♥️

I'm sorry. I'm the worst by McUberStein in c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone

[-] McUberStein@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 day ago

Loutre, tysm 😭
Yeah she was pretty bad. Still gives me trazodone and escitalopram tho and I wanna try those to see if they help. She's my med supply for now...

Thank you so much ♥️

I'm sorry. I'm the worst by McUberStein in c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone

[-] McUberStein@lemmy.zip 4 points 1 day ago

Thank you so much ♥️. You're so fucking kind, I don't even deserve that, at all...
Thank you. Really. To you, to everyone here. Thank you 🩷

I'm sorry. I'm the worst by McUberStein in c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone

[-] McUberStein@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 day ago

Loutreeee 😭
You're such a sweetie and I really mean that ❤️. I got every one of your messages during the current and previous spirals. I really appreciate your concern. Thank you so much for being here for me <3
Love ya, girl 🩷

I'm sorry. I'm the worst by McUberStein in c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone

[-] McUberStein@lemmy.zip 9 points 1 day ago

I don't deserve words as kind as those. And definitely not beautiful, you'll see once I start posting pics on my new account 😂
Thank you ❤️

I'm sorry. I'm the worst by McUberStein in c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone

[-] McUberStein@lemmy.zip 6 points 1 day ago

Thanks. I feel like an intruder, but I guess I'm still here, so...

I'm sorry. I'm the worst by McUberStein in c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone

[-] McUberStein@lemmy.zip 8 points 1 day ago

Thanks ❤️
I'm kinda not right now, but it'll get better

I'm sorry. I'm the worst by McUberStein in c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone

[-] McUberStein@lemmy.zip 4 points 1 day ago

Y'all should be angry at me. You should hate me, at least as much as I hate myself. I'm taking up space in this community that other people need and deserve...god I'm pathetic

51

I'm sorry. I'm the worst (lemmy.zip)

submitted 1 day ago by McUberStein@lemmy.zip to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone

82 comments fedilink

I'm really sorry everyone...this is all my own damn fault, I'm not denying that in the slightest.

spoiler

I was planning to die today. But I guess I'm not even capable of doing that.
This is all because I'm such an overdramatic, pathetic loser, an excuse for a human being. After an appointment with a new psychiatrist where her first question was "What is your deadname?" and after she told me I "started HRT late", I just fell into a deeper spiral. Now there's uncertainty if I'll even be able to go to Thailand for SRS, which made me full on suicidal upon finding out, so I just kinda...broke.
And there's the constant regret of not starting sooner, constant self-deprecating and loathing from feeling like I'll never be a woman. Hating my face and body every single waking second.
I'm just...depressed and not doing well right now. And I'm making it everybody's problem.

I'm sorry, but I guess I'm sticking around. I'm not dead just yet. I'm making a new account and starting over. But...at least, maybe you'll believe me now that I'm not actually a good person?
I'm really sorry. I'm actually the worst. I know that.

Maybe I should have died. Maybe. But...instead I guess I'll bother you all some more, again, from zero.
I'm sorry for being such an unimaginable fuckup...

Sincerely,
a very depressed trans girl,
Miisha

anyone know what happened to miisha? by McUberStein in c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone

I'm screwed, aren't I? by McUberStein in c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone

[-] McUberStein@lemmy.zip 11 points 1 month ago

I swear this isn't a troll. I truly do have severe confidence issues along with terrible anxiety.

This is honestly just a good-ish photo and I'm definitely not passing. I still boymode in public for that reason.

It's really hard to get out of my head. My bf keeps complimenting me, so do my friends, but it's way too easy to dismiss them. I'm sorry this post seemed like a troll.

I will need FFS for my profile: mainly my forehead. However, reading all of these comments, I'm getting slightly more hopeful. Thank you, kind stranger 🩷

74

The difference between my ID photos at -4 years HRT (16 years old) vs 3 months HRT (20 years old) (lemmy.nz)

submitted 1 month ago by McUberStein@lemmy.zip to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone

6 comments fedilink

This comparison always makes me laugh. It's not even really about the changes from HRT, it's just that a lot of things have happened in 4 years.

16 was probably the worst time of my life. Dysphoria from puberty, suicidal ideation, almost daily SH and a plan to end it all. I looked like I was gonna die, for real. I still carry the scars today.

On my new ID though, things have changed a bit 😂. I let my hair grow, got therapy, a boyfriend who loves me no matter my gender and, of course, HRT. Dad always told me to 'grow a pair'. Not sure if this is exactly what he meant by that, but I'm working on it 😆

I'm doing much better now and I'm glad to be here. Thanks for having me, girlies 🩷

I'm screwed, aren't I? by McUberStein in c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone

[-] McUberStein@lemmy.zip 21 points 1 month ago

I'm 20. Thank you for the kind words 🩷 It's just really hard to stay positive sometimes

Day 1 HRT vs 5.5 months HRT by McUberStein in c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone

[-] McUberStein@lemmy.zip 9 points 1 month ago

It's facial feminization surgery. HRT affects fat and surgery affects bone structure.

117

I'm screwed, aren't I? (lemmy.nz)

submitted 1 month ago by McUberStein@lemmy.zip to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone

54 comments fedilink

I feel like I started too late. There's no hope for me of ever passing... I'm so freaking dysphoric

91

Day 1 HRT vs 5.5 months HRT (lemmy.nz)

submitted 1 month ago by McUberStein@lemmy.zip to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone

10 comments fedilink

Not much has changed, but I have small breasts now, pretty skin, emotions and I look a tiny bit happier. Still need FFS tho