Explainxkcd: "Obviously, this would not work."
Me:

Explainxkcd: "Obviously, this would not work."
Me:

That's why I use today's sponsor, Ground News!
... /s? I don't even know anymore.
This is what I've realized. I just close my eyes and let my mind wander as if I am dreaming. I'm never aware of the transition, but I know I'm not pretending to dream for long.
short questionnaire
"You're in a desert, walking along in the sand, when all of a sudden you look down, and see a tortoise. It's crawling towards you. You reach down and you flip the tortoise over on its back..."
Self-censorship out of fear is an even bigger dampener than direct censorship.
Man, I hate having to think about the effects of my actions before I do something. It's so much better to just do things, and then see if there are consequences.
/s
"Goodbye" is actually derived from "God be with ye". People say it all the time, but most don't think or care about the religious aspect.
Similarly, "Hi. How are you?" could easily be pared down. "Hi-yah" and "Howie" are already taken, so I propose "Howerya". Then, we as a society can stop expecting a response, or just respond with "Goodenue". Both are no longer questions that require followup; they just become standard greetings.
I'm open to alternatives, though.
Not that I've heard. I'd be curious where you heard it. You should probably come with a source if you're going to make bold accusations like that.
Edit: I swear, I gramer good.
When God closes a door, he opens a window
You realize that’s a smaller opening, right?
You used to be able to walk out the front door
And now you have to climb out some slightly ajar window somewhere
Possibly falling like 5 stories to your death, that is not an upgrade
She is an angel in a polyester uniform.