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The original was posted on /r/nosleep by /u/fainting--goat on 2024-09-09 03:40:17+00:00.
I don’t know where all this water is going. Everything I’ve learned says that we should be flooding right now. The ground is saturated. We started seeing standing pools of water in the grass days ago, all over campus. It should have gotten worse, as the rain has been unrelenting, but it’s like the progression abruptly stopped.
Professor Monotone went down to the river recently to check where it’s at and while it’s elevated, its not at anything higher than what it normally hits during the spring when all the snow melts - or at least, in years prior when they actually had snow. I’m trying not to think about that too much. My anxiety can handle only so much existential dread.
I know about the river levels not because he told me specifically, but because he brought it up in class. He didn’t even do that thing where he just throws out a piece of information and leaves us to figure out why it’s significant, like some of my other professors in the geology department do. No, he explicitly said that with all the rain we’ve been getting he’d expect it to be flooding at this point. But it’s not. And then he was like ‘hmmm this is all very interesting’ and I of course knew that interesting means unnatural fuckery but the rest of the students were like ‘is this going to be on the exam’ and when he said no they immediately lost interest. So while I initially was sitting at my desk, screaming internally in panic at Professor Monotone’s recklessness to bring up that topic in front of a full class of students, I guess it’s not actually something to worry about. I sometimes forget that not every student is as psychotic about their classes as I am. Is it the scholarship that made me this way? I feel that having to keep my grades up for my scholarship was the catalyst for me to become the worst version of myself.
Not everyone lost interest, unfortunately. I took a covert glance around the classroom and saw a few staring thoughtfully out the windows. I am a junior now, after all. These are the advanced degree level classes. Everyone is here because they want to be here at this point.
As Cassie so often puts it, not my problem. Hopefully they’ll assume it’s something-something water tables and not something-something alternate dimensions.
Because my personal theory is that the water is going into the traveling river.
Josh thinks I should try summoning the river to test that theory, as well as to find out just how much authority I have over it now. He is hyped about the idea that I might be able to exert some control over the inhuman things on campus. It’s a faint silver lining to the whole situation, but it is undeniably a silver lining. Surprisingly, Cassie agrees with him. I thought that Josh was just stepping into Maria’s role, now that Maria is… not here… but it seems like the entire dynamic is shifting.
I don’t think this is what the devil meant by everything would change, though. I’ve got a feeling that it’s something to do with the unceasing rain.
Everyone on campus is talking about it. Everywhere I go, I hear students muttering about it, I hear them talking before class. It’s not like when I was a freshman, either. There are no upperclassmen to ask if this is normal. The seniors are only one year ahead of me and none of us know anything. The professors, when asked, have admitted that this is unusual but declined to speculate. (only Professor Monotone threw it out there like a hand grenade) I kind of wonder if this were a different university if campus safety would have made a statement by now, like yes it’s raining a lot, no we’re not going to flood but take these precautions anyway. I can’t see them doing that here. If they admit that something weird was going on with regards to the rain, I will go out, buy a hat, and eat it.
Because it all seems to come back to the rain, doesn’t it? The river. How it changes things. Even some of the inhumans seemed to depend on it - the flickering man was rendered vulnerable when the rain vanished and if the campus has a will of its own, I wonder if it was the university itself that revoked that from him.
It’s a troubling thought. It would mean that the rain is controlled by campus.
As a reminder, I write these posts in stages since I’m having memory problems. A few paragraphs here and there, as I think about about it and before I can forget. So you all get to find things out with me in the same order, albeit with a massively condensed timeline (minutes as opposed to days).
Obviously I’ve been avoiding Grayson. I blocked his phone number. Cassie did too. (and that brings up an interesting question - who pays for his cell phone? I bet it’s a line item hidden in some budget somewhere that no one questions) We’ve avoided talking about the Grayson problem. Cassie sees it as a simple thing to resolve now. We shove his soul back to wherever it came from. Put James where he belongs. Get Maria back. Done. The conflict with how we save everyone was made easier by removing Grayson from the list of people she actually wants to save.
In her mind, the devil did us a great favor by allowing Grayson to reveal his true colors.
I am… conflicted.
I’ve seen the place Grayson came from. It bled out of his fear and into my mind, through that connection he’s established between us. It is a place of vast power and weight, but also of emptiness, of isolation. I didn’t think that inhuman things could feel fear, but Grayson can, and this is what terrifies him. Being trapped in that place. He wants to be here, with us, and considering I’ve only seen him hurt people to further his own survival…
If we’re going to condemn Grayson for that, then we should feel the same about James. But we don’t. We’re trying to save James, even if it means leaving Maria trapped in some half-existence while we figure it out.
Is it wrong of me to have sympathy for something inhuman?
It terrifies me. I know that I want to stay me, I feel sick whenever I think of what Grayson proposed. I don’t want to lose myself, I don’t want to be something else. But… I’m not sure I trust myself either. Because despite Cassie’s constant reminders that “I shouldn’t light myself on fire to keep someone else warm”, I’m not sure I’m going to be strong enough to fight back. It’s not like when I chose to leave my hometown and go to college. That was my decision I made for myself. It didn’t impact anyone else.
If I choose myself over Grayson, then he’s gone. He’s cast into that vastness. And I’ve… always chosen someone else at the expense of myself.
I’m not sure I’m strong enough to change that.
So my strategy right now is to not get to that point. It’s… not going great. I have no idea what to do. I’ve never felt so lost. I know I should be strategizing, but it’s like my emotions keep getting in the way of my brain and before I know it it’s been an hour of staring helplessly at the wall of my bedroom. And it’s just me, too, I have to figure this out because I’m not sure if anyone else will. Cassie seems to have accepted that it’s either Grayson or me and she’s picked me. I’m worried she’s off scheming with Josh without me. In fact, now that I type it out, I’m positive that’s what she’s doing.
Great.
The devil certainly hasn’t shown up with any convenient solutions. Can’t say I expected it. He got what he wanted and his role here is done.
Unfortunately, the longer I struggle, the more time Grayson has to finalize his own plans to… make us the same person???? However that’s supposed to work. And after a few days of being blocked on my phone, he decided to come find me in person. I shouldn’t be surprised. I couldn’t avoid him forever.
Especially since he knows where I live.
And my class schedule.
Not sure how he got the latter but I’m sure it was through wildly unethical means and/or whatever influence he has over the university as a whole. While I was unnerved to see him waiting for me outside of the geology building, I can’t say I was surprised either. There was no avoiding it. I’d have to speak to him at some point. He was unlikely to leave me alone. I left the building, walking briskly right past him, forcing him to hurry to keep up and fall in step with me.
“I haven’t changed my mind,” I said tersely. “I don’t want what you have planned.”
“I didn’t expect you to. This is why I didn’t tell you the details until it was too late to undo it all.”
I swallowed hard upon hearing that, as if I were trying to swallow my fear. No. It wasn’t too late. I refused.
“You better have a backup plan, because I’m going to make sure this little idea of yours fails.”
He laughed. It wasn’t necessarily a cruel laugh. Incredulous. I bristled at hearing it. I might not be inhuman like him, but that didn’t mean I was helpless.
“Didn’t I kill the flickering man?” I snapped. “You think I can’t stop you too?”
His face furrowed in frustration. The rain was intensifying, the sky overhead growing darker.
“You had help,” he said.
The university revoked the rain. That’s right. I stopped walking and turned to face him, balling my hands into fists. That wasn’t all though. Hadn’t I-
A thought occurred to me.
“The eye,” I said quietly. “From my freshman year. I killed that.”
“You did,” he replied, his voice also soft.
And this...
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