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The original was posted on /r/nosleep by /u/Roos85 on 2024-09-08 19:02:27+00:00.
I was the second person in the world to get the Neurolink implant. I’ve suffered from Manic depression my whole life. It affected every aspect of my life. Nothing gave me joy, not even the smiling faces of my kids. So when I was told the neurolink was the answer to all my prayers I jumped at the chance.
It took a few days for the nerve tissue around the implant to heal before it kicked into gear. When I woke in the morning there was a split second of calm before my anxiety overwhelmed me, but instead of the normal feeling of dread, my brain was filled with endorphins, and a wave of euphoria swept over me.
From that moment my life changed. Driving to work, which was normally an impossible task filled with anger and frustration, became my favourite part of the day. I sang my heart out to the songs playing on the radio while waving to people walking down the street. Seeing someone sitting on a bench enjoying a cup of coffee filled me with immense joy when, normally, the sight of someone looking happy would fill me with resentment.
I worked at an accountancy firm as a temp. I loved the Job, but my depression made it hard for me to make an impact. My boss wasn’t the worst and he understood my struggle and never gave me a hard time. So I was surprised by the look on his face when he demanded to see me in my office.
As soon as I entered his office he started berating me and accusing me of all sorts. Normally, I would be filled with fear and self-loathing, but the more he shouted, the happier I felt. When he told me I was fired, a warm feeling of europia crept up my spine, and I felt amazing.
I was at odds with my situation and how I felt. I wanted to be sad; I wanted to cry, which is strange because, for years, all I wanted was to be happy. But I was now jobless with no hope, but all I felt was joy.
As I made my way to my car, I was too joyfully delirious to notice I was being followed. Just as I was about to open my car door, I heard footsteps behind me.
“What’s in the box?”
I turned to a gun pointed at my head.
“Please don’t shoot me,” I said in a chirpy tone.
“Give me your wallet or I’ll wipe that smile from your face.”
The guy had a glazed look in his eyes, so I knew he was serious, but I couldn’t help but burst out laughing as I grabbed my wallet from my pocket.
“Are you laughing at me? I’m not playing around. I will shoot you.”
I couldn’t stop, and the angrier he got, the harder I laughed. I was terrified, but the more scared I got, the happier I felt.
“I’m sorry, I can’t help it. I think there's something wrong with me,” I said as tears of joy streamed down my face.
He grabbed the wallet from my hand.
“Fuck you,” he shouted before the gun went off, hitting me in the shoulder.
He went through my pockets as I lay on the floor in a manic state of laughter. He took my car keys, jumped in my car, and drove off as I lay there in a pool of blood.
As the police questioned me at the hospital they couldn’t understand why I looked so happy after being robbed and shot. When I told them I had just been fired from my job before it happened, they asked me if I was on drugs. I knew it was something to do with the chip but I didn’t know how to explain it to them.
When you are depressed every day, no matter how uneventful the day went, it was a difficult day. Stubbing my toe on the coffee table would fill me with an overwhelming sense of self-pity and send me spiralling even deeper into a pit of despair. But I had the worst day imaginable, and all I felt was Immense joy. I didn’t care that my job and the car were gone. I didn’t even feel the pain from my bullet wound.
I didn’t want to rush out and find another job. I wanted to spend quality time with my wife and kids. If I wasn’t working I was either too depressed to get out of bed or to enjoy taking my kids out. This was a chance for my kids to see their dad smiling for a change.
The kids got so excited when I told them we were going to feed the ducks. I’ve never seen them that excited and it made me so happy I felt like crying.
My wife and I sat on the bench and watched as Toby and Makalla threw bread to the ducks.
“Dad, why do ducks like bread? Do they eat anything else?”
Toby was the curious one, always asking questions, but normally the only answer he got was go ask your mother.
“I don’t know, Toby. Maybe it’s because they go quackers for bread,” I said as I let out a little chuckle.
Toby turned to me with a big smile on his. He took a step back, and before I had a chance to react, he fell into the bond.
“Daddy help him,” shouted Makalla.
Toby struggled to keep his head above water. My wife, who couldn’t swim, was shouting at me to jump in and save him. The more chaotic it got the more dopamine flooded my brain.
It was like I was frozen. I wanted to help my son but all I could do was laugh. The more he struggled, the more delirious I got until I was clapping and hollering like a madman. Luckily, a passer-by saw what was happening and jumped in and saved him.
The guy who saved my son looked at me as if I was the worst. Toby was in tears as my wife held him tight.
“Why didn’t you save me, daddy,”
“I don’t know. I was scared.”
“You didn’t look scared, he said with a look of pure sorrow. I didn’t know what to say. My wife and daughter were disgusted with me and didn’t utter a word as we drove home. Inside, I was screaming; I was at odds with my external responses and my internal despair; I was terrified and never felt more alone, but I couldn’t express it.
I woke the following morning to an empty house. At first, I thought my wife had taken off with the kids, but she didn’t pack any clothes, and her car was still in the driveway.
Suddenly, a van pulled up outside my house, and two men in suits jumped out.
“We work for the company that installed your Neurolink. We would like you to come with us so we can evaluate your experience.”
I felt strangely compliant and felt too Joyish to refuse so I jumped in the back of the van.
When they brought me to the same place I had the Neurolink implanted, they put me in a room that looked more like an interrogation room than a doctor’s office. As I sat there a man in a white lab coat walked in.
“My name is Dr Weinstein,” he explained as he put a folder in front of me. When he opened it up I was shocked to see a picture of the man that shot me.
“I understand life hasn’t been easy the last few months. How did it feel when you lost your job?”
“How do you know that and where did you get the picture?”
“Everything will be explained in time. Right now we just need you to answer my questions.”
I felt like my brain was going to explode. I wanted to resist so badly but the feeling of euphoria coursing through my veins made me strangely compliant.
“I felt great. Better than I ever felt in my life. I didn’t care about losing my job,” I said as Dr Weinstein took notes.
“How did you feel when you were being robbed?”
“I wanted to run, but it was like being on a roller-coaster knowing there is a chance you could die, but you enjoy the ride anyway.”
When he was done with the questions he brought me to another room. The room was sterile and empty apart from a large black screen on the wall.
As I sat in the sterile room, the black screen flickered to life. A grainy video began to play. The room was silent, apart from the faint hum of machinery. On the screen, I saw my wife and kids. They were huddled together in a small room, looking terrified. My heart should have been pounding, but instead, I felt a gentle warmth spreading through my chest. A familiar sensation of joy washed over me, confusing and inappropriate.
"Where are they?" I demanded, though my voice sounded too cheerful like I was asking about the weather.
Dr. Weinstein stood beside me, his hands calmly folded. "They're safe for now. We needed to observe your response."
I wanted to shout, but my brain wouldn’t let me. Instead, I smiled, even though my world was crumbling before me.
"Why are you doing this?" I asked, still grinning like an idiot, my body betraying me with happiness as I watched my family suffer on the screen.
Dr. Weinstein turned to face me.
"The Neurolink was never about curing depression or mental illness. That was just the cover story. We’ve been developing a way to control emotional responses to better manipulate behaviour. You were one of the first to receive the implant because of your vulnerability. We wanted to see how far we could push someone like you. We wanted to see how easily you could be made compliant, no matter the circumstances."
The video continued playing in front of me. My wife was crying while holding Toby and Makalla tightly. Toby was whispering something to her, but there was no audio.
We control your emotions now. We wanted to see how much we could break you and still make you feel happy."
A wave of euphoria swept over me as I watched the screen. My wife and children were in danger. Any rational person would be terrified but I couldn't feel it. I couldn't connect with the fear that I knew I should have felt. Instead, it was like watching a happy scene in a movie.
"You see you no longer have control over your own emotions. You're a puppet of joy. Even now, as your family is at risk, you can't help but smile, can you?”
I tried to fight it, tried to dig down and find the sorrow or terror deep within me. But no matter how hard I tried, I could only laugh. I...
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