Not The Onion

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We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

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Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

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According to police, Charles Smith, 27, entered the Walmart at 1955 S. Stapley Dr. on Dec. 19 intending to film pranks for social media platforms.

Instead, police said Smith grabbed a can of Hot Shot Ultra Bed Bug and Flea Killer from a shelf without paying for it and then sprayed the pesticide on various vegetables, fruit and rotisserie chickens that were available for purchase.

Smith recorded his face, the pesticide can and the act of him spraying its contents. He later posted the recording online.

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cross-posted from: https://lemmy.ml/post/23808973

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu will not attend an event marking the 80th anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz concentration camp in Poland over fears he would be arrested and handed over to the International Criminal Court (ICC), Polish media has reported.

Wladyslaw Bartoszewski, Poland's deputy foreign minister, who is organising the ceremony, told Polish newspaper Rzeczpospolita that Warsaw was committed to respecting the ICC's decisions.

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I'm really not sure where to begin with this one, so I'm just going to lay it out and then try to explain later: A recent update to Zenless Zone Zero made it impossible to get a good look at character's asses, and the blowback was so fierce developer MiHoYo reverted the change less than a day later.

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The now-dead plan was for people to pay a monthly fee to get a new iPhone every year.

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The skit that "missed the mark" occurred in a break in play during the second quarter of Charlotte's game against the Philadelphia 76ers on Monday. The child was brought onto the court with Hugo, the Hornets' mascot, dressed as Santa Claus. After a letter to Santa requesting a PS5 was read out loud, a cheerleader came out with a bag containing the video game console.

The young fan was visibly overjoyed as he received the pricy gift. However, according to an online acquaintance, he was less happy when the cameras turned off and a Hornets staffer took it away, replacing it with a jersey.

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Why is he [jumping] like that?

(headline is original headline found in the tab's name)

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she tried to get wrapping paper made, presumably to sell to raise campaign funds.

the wrapping paper and it had a pattern that alternated between a graphic that reads,

Spoiler“No [picture of balls] in our stalls,” and her campaign logo.

“My team just informed me that no company would make this wrapping paper for us because it’s too ‘offensive,'” she wrote.

Spoiler“What I find offensive is men in women’s bathrooms.”

“A sitting Congresswomen using a disgusting and bigoted slur about Americans who staged a nonviolent protest,” responded Rep. Maxwell Frost (D-FL). “People who use this type of despicable language should not be leading anyone.”

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Answer: No.

Also: still no.

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I nominate this NYT opinion piece for shittiest take of 2024!

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Kemi Badenoch “will not touch bread if it’s moist.”

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cross-posted from: https://lemm.ee/post/49608730

EDITED: Change link to proper article instead of a stupid video, and changed associated text to match new URL.

Disgusting, in my opinion.

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Kevin Loftus should be sent to jail for violating the terms of his probation, prosecutors told a judge.

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