Sadly, this is not the Onion.

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For true stories that you could have sworn were from The Onion.

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26
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Nurse fired for calling Gaza war "genocide" while accepting compassion award (www.cbsnews.com)
submitted 5 months ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/WallabyUpstairs1496 on 2024-05-30 20:16:15.
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'Furiosa' Edges 'Garfield' in Worst Memorial Day Weekend Since 1995 (timesofsandiego.com)
submitted 5 months ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/MexicanEd on 2024-05-30 18:17:58.

…she did what now?

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Ayatollah Tells American College Students They're on 'Right Side of History' (www.newsweek.com)
submitted 5 months ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/TheOSU87 on 2024-05-30 18:04:08.
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Man accused of stealing charity Harley from Hampton was eating roadkill in saddlebags, police say (www.wcvb.com)
submitted 5 months ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/Late_Mastodon_3453 on 2024-05-30 16:54:26.
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Italy prime minister introduces herself as ‘that bitch Meloni’ (www.wantedinrome.com)
submitted 5 months ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/DemoneScimmia on 2024-05-30 15:16:11.
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Opposite of what Florida police chief expected: Speed cameras issue 1,300 tickets in 5 weeks (www.clickorlando.com)
submitted 5 months ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/GetOffMyGrassBrats on 2024-05-30 14:43:31.
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Costa Brava town bans penis suits and sex dolls from stag and hen dos (www.theguardian.com)
submitted 5 months ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/Dangerous-Setting-87 on 2024-05-30 14:18:41.
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Everyone would benefit from my £100m bonus, says Wizz Air boss (www.cityam.com)
submitted 5 months ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/MajorHubbub on 2024-05-30 12:57:10.
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US 'serial slingshot shooter', aged 81, arrested (www.bbc.com)
submitted 5 months ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/TheFrederalGovt on 2024-05-30 12:45:01.
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Best I’ve seen in a while. Virtual court case for driving on a suspended license. (www.foxnews.com)
submitted 5 months ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/LuvTheSmellofCyanide on 2024-05-30 12:31:04.
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'Bad breath rapist' from Boston area caught after 16 years at large in California (www.npr.org)
submitted 5 months ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/sevolatte on 2024-05-30 11:49:13.
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F1 in livery push for 2025 to make cars look all different (www.motorsport.com)
submitted 5 months ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/razor5cl on 2024-05-30 10:41:45.
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Suspended driver joins court hearing while driving (www.bbc.com)
submitted 5 months ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/Brianlife on 2024-05-30 08:36:55.
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Homeless sent out of Edinburgh to make room for Taylor Swift fans (www.bbc.com)
submitted 5 months ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/AydanZeGod on 2024-05-30 07:15:38.
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Driver with suspended license joins remote hearing while driving (www.bbc.co.uk)
submitted 5 months ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/bob1689321 on 2024-05-30 07:13:48.
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Man with suspended license charge shows up to virtual court hearing while driving (www.wtae.com)
submitted 5 months ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/AllAgesGaming on 2024-05-30 05:31:00.
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"Sludge" from Mormon cricket invasion causes multiple crashes in Nevada (www.cbsnews.com)
submitted 5 months ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/engadine_maccas1997 on 2024-05-30 03:56:53.
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Man arrested after climbing Bumblebee Statue and Taking his Clothes Off (www.kob.com)
submitted 5 months ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/3PointLayup on 2024-05-30 03:44:00.

I love Albuquerque.

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Alleged NYC serial puncher says he's running for office (www.fox5ny.com)
submitted 5 months ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/KambingDomba on 2024-05-30 02:38:22.
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North Korea sends balloons filled with waste into the South (www.cnbc.com)
submitted 5 months ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/bbiittccooiinn on 2024-05-29 20:22:57.
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North Korea drops balloons carrying trash (www.bbc.com)
submitted 5 months ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/jedikraken on 2024-05-29 20:20:44.
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An 81-Year-Old ‘Serial Slingshot Shooter’ Is Arrested After Decade of Mischief (www.nytimes.com)
submitted 5 months ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/redundancy2 on 2024-05-29 17:04:47.
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North Korea sends fleet of balloons carrying excrement to South Korea (thehill.com)
submitted 5 months ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/2252_observations on 2024-05-29 23:58:26.
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Ikea transforms beautiful ancient forests into bad quality furniture (news.mongabay.com)
submitted 5 months ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/Ok-Peak- on 2024-05-29 23:28:27.
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Pastor claims to be able to talk to God on his cellphone (observers.france24.com)
submitted 6 months ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/neptunian-rings on 2024-05-25 22:30:03.
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