this post was submitted on 10 Dec 2024
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Chronic Illness
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A community/support group for chronically ill people. While anyone is welcome, our number one priority is keeping this a safe space for chronically ill people.
This is a support group, not a place for people to spout their opinions on disability.
Rules
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Be excellent to each other
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Absolutely no ableism. This includes harmful stereotypes: lazy/freeloaders etc
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No quackery. Does an up-to date major review in a big journal or a major government guideline come to the conclusion you’re claiming is fact? No? Then don’t claim it’s fact. This applies to potential treatments and disease mechanisms.
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No denialism or minimisation This applies challenges faced by chronically ill people.
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No psychosomatising psychosomatisation is a tool used by insurance companies and governments to blame physical illnesses on mental problems, and thereby saving money by not paying benefits. There is no concrete proof psychosomatic or functional disease exists with the vast majority of historical diagnoses turning out to be biomedical illnesses medicine has not discovered yet. Psychosomatics is rooted in misogyny, and consisted up until very recently of blaming women’s health complaints on “hysteria”.
Did your post/comment get removed? Before arguing with moderators consider that the goal of this community is to provide a safe space for people suffering from chronic illness. Moderation may be heavy handed at times. If you don’t like that, find or create another community that prioritises something else.
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I guess I’d rather have constant “feeling better?/are you ok?” Than constant “oh I heard about this on Facebook! You should try it even tho it’s obvious bullshit! And if you say no I’ll be offended, so make sure you phrase your reply with adequate appreciation for me sharing this gem of information with you!”
I wish I had something other than chronic daily headache with migraine as a “main” disability. Everyone thinks their dumb little regression to mean trick is a cure (for the two headaches a year they get), but like even if it did work sometimes, I’m not, for example, sitting with my hands in ice water all the fucking time, because that’s also painful..?
I’m glad nobody tries to troubleshoot my back pain or other medical issues.. they just get sad for me and ask if I’m ok when I wince or whatever. Like no, but I’ve been dealing with it for over half my life now, so just leave it, please?
I'm glad you politely say you're as good as can be and save the vitriol for online. Curse those people for asking after your condition to see whether they can help at all out of concern. What dicks.
This is never the first conversation. It’s not like we snap at someone the first time they show concern. This is usually the final straw after many conversations where it’s not just well-wishing, but constant ‘helpful’ suggestions, after it’s been explained that our condition is chronic and incurable, we’ve seen specialists and had all the tests, tried all the treatments, and are in the management stage – and most conversations have become ‘have you tried this oil/vitamin/yoghurt/diet? Someone on Facebook said it cured their mother’. It’s exhausting and honestly insulting, like we haven’t already tried literally everything out of desperation, and are just too ill-informed on our own illness to have thought of this one common thing that will fix us. Most of us know enough about our illness to qualify for a PhD in it.
After years of that, it becomes hard to stay polite. We mostly still do, but it’s not easy. Venting online with others who can understand helps.