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I have said yes to a date by mistake. (lemm.ee)

submitted 21 hours ago by squid_slime@lemm.ee to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

49 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Met a 22 yo in a group I am involved in, she asked if I wanted a lift to a meeting, there and back. I don't know her very well but she's young a lot younger than me by 10years.

So talking on the way back she mentions antidepressants, I too take anti depressants, the conversation moves towards SSRIs and sex. I panic because that shit makes me supper uncomfortable, she said some stuff that was a blatant hint. Anyway me and her have activity later in the week for the group we're in, she's invited me out for a drink after and being friendly and uncomfortable I said yea sure.

How best to proceed? I don't want things to be weird and our group get weird as a result. I wish I could set boundaries.

Worth mentioning I have crazy anxiety so don't judge too hard I mostly run on auto pilot in those situations.

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[–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 102 points 20 hours ago (22 children)

Best to talk to her before anything else and explain that you're flattered, but not interested. Don't lead her on.

[–] squid_slime@lemm.ee 7 points 19 hours ago (2 children)

This is probably the best approach. I'm a bit of a people pleaser which doesn't help in these situations, I was lowkey hopping a commenter might suggest avoidance 😂

[–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 11 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

I know, it sucks, haha. However, the longer you put this off the more invested she will be, so it's absolutely important to make clear boundaries as soon as you can, without crushing her ego.

Good luck!

[–] squid_slime@lemm.ee 3 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Thank you comrade.

[–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 4 points 19 hours ago

No problem comrade!

[–] DScratch@sh.itjust.works 8 points 18 hours ago

If you are open to friendship with this person, then you could still go for a drink. It can be nice to have someone who has experienced similar negative things to talk to.

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