In order to be conservative you have to be afraid, irrationally. Afraid your guns will be taken, afraid the gays are going to out-breed you (not even kidding, they really "think" that), afraid what you want won't be what everyone does, afraid other people are smarter or more capable, afraid that when you die you won't get magicked somewhere to live forever. Basically afraid of everything whether it makes any sense or not. And afraid someone else will find out how afraid you are all the time.

They're pathetic and not fit to walk a dog much less run anything.

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