this post was submitted on 26 Oct 2023
348 points (96.3% liked)
Asklemmy
43945 readers
450 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- !lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
Mine was "Not all women like being touched the same way". As in, some women can't reach orgasm from penetration alone, but some do. Some want direct pressure on their clitoris, some do not. And this all makes sense, not everyone likes the same things.
And that is, for me at least, where the fun is. I like to figure things out. I like to see how stuff works. And women are pretty awesome. What would be a better evening than figuring out exactly how to pleasure someone, through communication and experimentation? I'm still finding ways to push my wife's buttons 14 years later.
Sucks when the person doesn't like to communicate with you and just ignores her own issues to just satisfy you.
I was less satisfied because I wasn't allowed to figure it out and just felt like a bad person. The sex drive went down for her after a year, no wonder, but its not my fault either.
2 years later and I broke with her up as she was pretty manipulative and impossible to talk to from the beginning.
the number of times a girl has been taken aback when i take a moment to ask "so what gets you off?"
“I have no idea”
Indeed, there are toxic people out there. I hope you're doing better now.
Sounds familiar. I wasn’t doing it practically at all for my ex, and I could tell, but she refused to acknowledge any problem. Like, she wasn’t cumming. She said she was.
I remember the literal one time I made her cum she said in this sort of surprised voice “I … I’m cumming”.
It’s not that orgasms were new to her. It’s that because I wasn’t pleasing her, she assumed I had never pleased any woman and that I didn’t know the difference. So she just lied, and went to find other men to get her to cum. As in, just cheated on me to get what she needed.
That hurt extremely bad. Hearing that something’s not working for my partner is slightly deflating, followed by exciting again when whatever we changed makes it work. Hearing (implicitly) that I’m too hopeless to even be notified of the problem, fucked with my head badly.
It's always amazing to find someone who communicates
It really is. "This isn't doing it for you? Tell me what does."
The ADHD takes care of most of it for me. It helps that I don't really enjoy being touched.