this post was submitted on 13 May 2024
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Unpopular Opinion

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(Content warning, discussions of SA and misogyny, mods I might mention politics a bit but I hope this can be taken outside the context of politics and understood as a discussion of basic human decency)

We all know how awful Reddit was when a user mentioned their gender. Immediate harassment, DMs, etc. It's probably improved over the years? But still awful.

Until recently, Lemmy was the most progressive and supportive of basic human dignity of communities I had ever followed. I have always known this was a majority male platform, but I have been relatively pleased to see that positive expressions of masculinity have won out.

All of that changed with the recent "bear vs man" debacle. I saw women get shouted down just for expressing their stories of being sexually abused, repeatedly harassed, dogpiled, and brigaded with downvotes. Some of them held their ground, for which I am proud of them, but others I saw driven to delete their entire accounts, presumably not to return.

And I get it. The bear thing is controversial; we can all agree on this. But that should never have resulted in this level of toxicity!

I am hoping by making this post I can kind of bring awareness to this weakness, so that we can learn and grow as a community. We need to hold one another accountable for this, or the gender gap on this site is just going to get worse.

(page 7) 50 comments
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[–] PanArab@lemm.ee 2 points 6 months ago (2 children)

I’m a man and I would take my chances with a bear over a man I don’t know. I don’t blame women who feel safer around a bear.

Sorry your experience here was awful.

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[–] yuri@pawb.social 2 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (47 children)

I commented about it and some guy replaced every instance of the word “men” in my post with “Jews” to prove to me that I am a bigot. His comment was removed by mods, but later un-removed because we’re big fans of bad faith arguments and invalid comparisons on this platform.

e: argue this point with women in person and see how well it goes.

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[–] boyi@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (3 children)

The good thing about lemmy is that it don't get directive from any governments to censor certain issues like what happen to Google, reddit, meta and other social media For any other case, the mods will take care of the instances. If you don't like it, just block whichever instances, communities or users you want. Whats so difficult about that? Nobody is forcing you to be in whatever toxic instance/community is or to read posts that you don't like.

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[–] DragonsInARoom@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

Source for the hostile comments? I know that these types of people make up the minority of users, but I would still like a source for these hateful comments.

[–] Gonzako@lemmy.world 1 points 6 months ago (4 children)

Ya'll don't like getting called out on your bullshit. Ofc I'm not gonna let myself get grouped into something worse than a fucking animal. Go have your rights and empathy activism someway it doesn't clump men in the "not people" category

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