this post was submitted on 26 May 2024
184 points (96.9% liked)

Ask Lemmy

26507 readers
983 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

I've been doing this for some time now. Even if it's something that I consider important.

I just don't see the value in participating in a discussion that I have seen countless times already where the same points and arguments happen over and over again. One that I know wilI turn ugly. It's exhausting and I've decided to just opt-out.

(page 2) 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Atomic@sh.itjust.works 3 points 4 months ago

All the time.

[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 3 points 4 months ago

Yes. But more importantly, I find myself (in hindsight of course) participating in conversations I probably should not be participating in to begin with.

I have a bad habit of leaping without always looking. If you look at my comment history, I’m sure it’ll stick out like a sore thumb. But that is my proverbial cross to bear, and it’s something I feel like I’m getting better at.

But, that aside, there are plenty of things I’d love to discuss with people that I know would not be received well, or like you said, have been discussed to death.

Great question!

[–] Boomkop3@reddthat.com 3 points 4 months ago

The block button works for me

[–] Carrolade@lemmy.world 3 points 4 months ago

Yes, sometimes. Though I try to remember that one of the reasons for that phenomenon is just that new people are entering the environment every day, something that will never end. It's easy to think it's always the same people arguing, but it's not. There's just a lot of different people in the world.

When I think it's possible to try to improve the discourse over what we've seen in the past, I'll sometimes make an attempt. When I have the time and energy for it anyway, I don't always.

[–] leaky_shower_thought@feddit.nl 3 points 4 months ago

i usually do. it also helps to check first if the sub is light-hearted and sharing is very welcome.

there's a chance the sub is already at a devolving to name slinging and memes and that requires a different touch.

[–] Boozilla@lemmy.world 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I have done this from time to time. Need to go back to it. There's too many Dwight Schrutes online. Thanks for the wisdom. OP.

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] Boozilla@lemmy.world 2 points 4 months ago
[–] GluWu@lemm.ee 2 points 4 months ago

I was typing something, was going to just delete. So yeah

[–] OpenStars@discuss.online 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

People are only ready to receive so much Truth.

And ~~even~~ especially then, likely with anger.

... and ofc that includes ourselves as well btw.

It's not all that different from irl conversations then, except you cannot look in each others' eyes to gauge sincerity. So ask yourself: why have irl conversations at all - especially when you know they will turn ugly? We cannot really help you further b/c you have hidden behind an alt account here, though I hope this gives you some stuff to think about.

[–] caiman@sopuli.xyz 2 points 4 months ago

Honestly, my only thought right now is "?"

We cannot really help you further b/c you have hidden behind an alt account

I don't understand this, do you think I'm someone else from here that's using an alt? Because if you do, I'm not, you got it wrong.

So ask yourself: why have irl conversations at all - especially when you know they will turn ugly?

I do avoid some conversations IRL because I know they will get ugly and me giving my opinion isn't necessary or important. There's a saying in my country about never discussing politics or religion. Seeing how some people can get when you disagree with them, I've found it wise to follow it.

[–] whygohomie@lemmy.world 2 points 4 months ago

Yes because there are certain areas where paid actors, including bots, overwhelm any organic discussion. I have discussions about stuff like that in private chats with people I actually know.

[–] spittingimage@lemmy.world 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, there's plenty of topics I avoid discussing on the internet. I'm not here for an argument.

[–] mPony@lemmy.world 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

it's been 8 hours and there's no reference to the Monty Python "argument sketch". That's refreshing.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Bruncvik@lemmy.world 2 points 4 months ago

I don't mind discussing politics or religion, even though I don't repeat myself in the same discussion and don't engage with trolls. However, I absolutely never discuss my family, my personal matters and my racist views.

[–] Sombyr@lemmy.zip 2 points 4 months ago

Yeah, and the worst is when people are talking about something I know a lot about, getting virtually every detail wrong, and I have to resist saying anything because I know my input will either be ignored, or worse, straight up unwelcome.
Luckily the blessing of being dumb as bricks is that that doesn't happen a lot, but I sure hate when it does.

[–] hanrahan@slrpnk.net 1 points 4 months ago

Several I never comment on or engage with, several I comment on and very few topics I engage with.

[–] acetanilide@lemmy.world 1 points 4 months ago

Yeah. On my personal pages I either unfollowed or deleted so many people so I don't have to deal with it. On places like lemmy it's not worth the energy.

Sometimes I can't help myself though. I was taught to stand up for myself and for other people as well so it's hard for me to sit back on certain conversations. Somehow this week I actually changed someone's mind (Not on lemmy). It's confusing when that happens lol

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 1 points 4 months ago

Yes there are topics I avoid.

I also weigh in on them, but not as often as I feel the urge.

My plan is to comment less, with higher quality.

[–] deaf_fish@lemm.ee 1 points 4 months ago

Maybe try a more formal debate setting? I know there are some places like "the crucible" that facilitate that.

I doubt you will find anything on Lemmy unless you start up a highly moderated community. Even then, people can bring questions against the moderators.

Discussion and debate are pretty lawless in nature.

load more comments
view more: ‹ prev next ›