Asklemmy

This is the shit posting I like to see

Give birth right before your trip

Leaving a comment to be part of Lemmy history.

You're going to end up needing a knife...

You're gonna need a bigger knife

This post is truly glorious, this should be the founding exhibit of the museum of Lemmy.

I am truly grateful to witness this moment.

In case OP is still with us, my advice would be anti diarrhoea medication, consume minimum liquids, avoid fibre, pack MREs which are often formulated to be a bit constipating. But above all, question why on earth you would be doing this in the first place!

this is it. this is the critical point of quality the fediverse needed

It's called a low residue diet https://badgut.org/information-centre/health-nutrition/low-residue-diet/

I have a friend who was in the army and said they had to do 100+km training hikes. No one wanted to have to stop to poo so the first thing they did, before even starting, was to eat the block of cheese from their ration packs. They called it plug cheese.

What a time to be alive!

Practicing for No Shit November I see.

Just don't eat anything. For three days you should be fine. If your stomach hurts just drink water.

Op is gonna meet their stinky penpal in person and wants to save a special gift for when they get together, how romantic 😍

Eat a full MRE the day before. Good luck ever pooping again.

If you don't wanna partake in illegals ie opioids, you can give immodium a shot. It's anti diarrhea stuff. Just take more than it says lol it will def stop you up. I would also just eat bare minimum. Trail mix or smth. Also drink less water.

Dude, I know you can't say why, but I sincerely hope you come back after your...excursion? And update us all with the results. And may e tell us why when you have the chance.

Just coming in here and saying you can't shit for 3 days. What on earth is this.

This post is gold. To parrot a couple others, anti-diarrhea medicine always locks me up for a day or two

!RemindMe 7 days

Has anybody considered OP may be getting railed by a giant schlong?

Good luck winning that car!

what the fuck. i need an update post

Not sure if this is a troll post...

But in case not, in my experience black chocolate and banana helps in these kind of situations...

And don't drink apple or grape juice, or the opposite will happen 🙃

This is the most upvotes I have seen on Lemmy so far! We gotta get this over 1k at least!

I'm pretty Sure you are a Woman going on a hike for multiple days and you don't want to poop in the wild? These problems sound quite familiar xD

I’m so happy I’m here!

I'm here for whatever this ends up being

You could try surviving on Soylent or an equivalent. It's the nutrients you need to stay alive and operating normally stripped down to the bare minimum (so less material for you to have to poop). It might be diluted in water but that could be minimised and that small amount would probably leave you though sweat/breath anyway.

I wonder how he will behave as soon as the first thing the date does in the tent is, unceremoniously, going for a poop.

Get your bowels empty in the days leading up to it. So don’t eat. Anything. 2 days before you can relieve yourself start eating small amounts of protein.

Or, better yet, don’t even try to do this. You’re very unlikely to succeed and therefore your effort is going into preventing an inevitable situation rather than figuring out how to deal with the inevitable problem once it arrives.