You could try surviving on Soylent or an equivalent. It's the nutrients you need to stay alive and operating normally stripped down to the bare minimum (so less material for you to have to poop). It might be diluted in water but that could be minimised and that small amount would probably leave you though sweat/breath anyway.
this post was submitted on 22 Jun 2023
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Asklemmy
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Iβm so happy Iβm here!
Our first "5/7 with rice" story! Wow!
Get your bowels empty in the days leading up to it. So donβt eat. Anything. 2 days before you can relieve yourself start eating small amounts of protein.
Or, better yet, donβt even try to do this. Youβre very unlikely to succeed and therefore your effort is going into preventing an inevitable situation rather than figuring out how to deal with the inevitable problem once it arrives.
I was here when the no-shit post jump started the popularity of this platform. My children will be so proud
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please stop talking about how this post is going to be on lectures 10 years later and help this guy, he NEED help lmao
Honestly, the edits didnβt clarify much. Iβm nearly as confused by this whole situation as I was the first time I read the post
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Are you planning to film one of those "shipping myself in a box" videos? π
Honestly, If u dont want to poop and eat as little as possible i would consider fasting. If zero food is too intimidating - pack some nuts.
The type of shit (or lack thereof) that I came here to subscribe.
NOSHITGANG
I was here witnessing lemmy history being made and I will probably die of curiosity if we do not get an update. I do not have any tips. I just hope that you come back safe and sound.
Canned tuna. It's very dry and almost all protein so most of it gets absorbed by the body and you'll be pooping neat little bricks.
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I think this is for some sort of fanfic or roleplay, so:
Military food. If you want something old fashioned but not so bland like the european bread take a look at what paraguayan soldiers used during the three aliances war.
lol this is hilarious, and I also hope you're okay, OP!
Now, some say this is the first Lemmy meme. I'm not sure that's the case, for what it's worth. However, it does feel exciting to see a meta moment like this! So absurd! π
Just start taking Adderall. If you're anything like me, you will have to remind yourself to eat more than 500 calories a day and then you will find yourself questioning how many days it has been since you even felt the need to poop.
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Lemmy history!
8/10 with rice
You said if we guess you'd confirm so here's my attempt.
Are you participating in like one of those TV competitions? Will you be filmed if you poop and that's why you'd rather not?
I haven't seen any comments suggesting a plug, so I guess it'll be me. Try using a butt plug.
Iβd you can eat meat, beef jerky. Generally any high protein, low carb diet will be low output. Not sure about the sweating though.
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