this post was submitted on 22 Jun 2023
1697 points (95.5% liked)

Asklemmy

44398 readers
1270 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy ๐Ÿ”

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Please don't ask why I need this.

It would be great if the food also made me sweat less.

It has to be something I can easily find.

EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION:

  • I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities.

  • I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere.

  • I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.

  • I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully).

  • Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself.

  • If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets.

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

(page 7) 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[โ€“] koavf@lemmy.ml 6 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I have fasted for three straight days on many occasions and it was pretty easy for me. Drinking zero-calorie beverages (coffee, tea, water) should be fine. This is not professional medical advice and definitely do not do this if you are an alcoholic, diabetic, or pregnant. Once you break the fast, do so with moderation.

load more comments (2 replies)
[โ€“] literallyacat@kbin.social 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

....You're gonna try to ship yourself to Timbuktu, aren't you.

load more comments (1 replies)

Truly an amazing post that needs a follow-up. We wait eagerly for the results of this journey. You crazy motherfucker lmfao

[โ€“] stilgar@infosec.pub 6 points 2 years ago

I'm imagining you shipping yourself in a crate to another country and wanting to avoid getting poo all over you ๐Ÿคฃ

[โ€“] jeena@jemmy.jeena.net 6 points 2 years ago

I think water fasting would do you the best. There was this guy in 1965 who fasted for over a year eating nothing but some vitamins prescribed by the doctors and drinking water coffe and tea https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angus_Barbieri%27s_fast

He apparently also only pooped every 2 months https://www.diabetes.co.uk/blog/2018/02/story-angus-barbieri-went-382-days-without-eating/

[โ€“] Xylinna@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I wonder if doing a colon cleanse beforehand help? Similar to what people do before a colonoscopy.

Also, it is an odd request but Iโ€™m now fully vested in your post to see what others suggest.

load more comments (2 replies)
[โ€“] techtask@kbin.social 6 points 2 years ago (4 children)

MREs. Particularly US MREs. You can eat em as much as you want and you won't have to go for a week.

Fear the end of the week, however

load more comments (4 replies)
[โ€“] smstnitc@lemmy2.addictmud.org 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Define "illegal". Like, marijuana is legal for recreational use in my state. I'm looking forward to some edibles when I get home, hahah

load more comments (1 replies)
[โ€“] TheKrzyk@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago

I've heard that Robert Zemeckis is interested in your story. He mentioned something about filming "Pooped Away"...

[โ€“] Nerrad@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago

Good luck mailing yourself out of the country.

[โ€“] jerkface@lemmy.ca 6 points 2 years ago

If it's important you can easily just not eat for three days. Otherwise, there's nothing you can eat that will be safe and prevent you from pooping.

[โ€“] Mugmoor@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 2 years ago

Im just posting so I can see my username on one of Whang's videos one day.

[โ€“] professor@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 years ago

I'm honestly more curious about this than I was about any of the locked safes.

[โ€“] DarthRedLeader@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago

Tbf, there's a difference between knowing instinctively that someone poops and being first-hand witness to the godawful stench of post-chipotle bowel movement in an area with poor air circulation (AC aside).

Crush is definitely involved though.

[โ€“] Sowatee@lemmy.ml 6 points 2 years ago

What the fuck?

[โ€“] bahnburner@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Breast milk has very few undigestible solids. Just saying.

load more comments (1 replies)
[โ€“] Neptune014@lemmy.ml 5 points 2 years ago

I dont have any advice. Just wanted to day I was here before the reason was revealed.

This is the weirdest fucking thing I've seen on the Internet in a long time.

[โ€“] Boozilla@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Hard boiled eggs. Astronauts love them because they are almost completely absorbed and pooping in space is a hassle.

load more comments (1 replies)
[โ€“] seppoenarvi@lemmy.ml 5 points 2 years ago
[โ€“] Dazed_Confused@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

This could be a setting in a Stephen King novel. They usually don't end well.

I am really curious about the situation, but all I've to say is be safe and update us.

load more comments
view more: โ€น prev next โ€บ