this post was submitted on 11 Oct 2024
230 points (96.7% liked)

196

16410 readers
2295 users here now

Be sure to follow the rule before you head out.

Rule: You must post before you leave.

^other^ ^rules^

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

How do you make friends? I have no friends other than my SO and it has been that way for many years. Even for online friends I have trouble knowing when to message, what to say, and how often to start conversations. I usually convince myself they don't like to hear from and stop initiating conversations :(

top 17 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 36 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Stick to your interests - tabletop gaming and d&d groups specifically are an easy way to make friends. Likewise physical activity groups like biking, hiking, or running. Volunteering can be hit or miss depending on your age bracket.

[–] pennomi@lemmy.world 17 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

A lot of game shops have open game night where you just show up and play various games with strangers. Great way to practice meeting and talking to people.

[–] shani66@ani.social 14 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Man i wish i lived in a civilized place, my nearest flgs is like 3 counties away. Somehow the bar scene isn't even any better! If i wanted to make unrelated friends I'd have to go to church (🤮) or something.

[–] pennomi@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago

Might be worth looking into local sports or joining a gym?

[–] untorquer@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago

Chances are you can find a cause in your community people have gathered around.

Sometimes though you might be in aplace where there's just no community for you which is a reality in various rural areas. You might need to make the drive those 3 counties over.

If it's real bad you might need to decide between your roots and living closer to communities you mesh well with. Depends on what's important for you in life and where you can find work.

[–] clay_pidgin@sh.itjust.works 2 points 3 weeks ago

You could start a game night at a bar on like Tuesdays. Those are becoming a thing, might find a bar to host for you.

[–] recklessengagement@lemmy.world 18 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Most recently, I've made some very interesting friends through volunteering. You're pretty much stuck with a group of people for a period of time and it gives you a perfect pretense to start conversations - and if you pick a cause you care about, you're very likely to meet like-minded people.

most notably, in-person friendships require much less time investment to develop than online friendships, IMO (not that online friendships aren't just as enjoyable)

Its truly a numbers game, though. Put yourself out there enough and eventually something will click.

[–] untorquer@lemmy.world 7 points 3 weeks ago

Volunteering is a great way! You can also go to festivals with clubs (free market, ren fair, hobby conventions) and ask how to get involved. Just walk up to people and express intereat and ask how to participate. Oftrn they'll be excited to get you into the community.

Pick and choose. You'll meet a lot of toxic people. You need to identify toxic traits such as bullying or people ignoring your needs.

Lastly, you're going to mesh with some people. The people you end up talking to for a long time. It's 1 in a thousand for me. So, wide net.

[–] notthebees@reddthat.com 3 points 3 weeks ago

I agree. Sometimes you get very lucky. I was volunteering at a boy scout camp and happened upon an absolute nerd of a man. Same kind of computer nerd as me. (linux, open source hardware) the whole nine. We just worked together at random too.

Basically go volunteer, you'll run into interesting people.

[–] nicoleb@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 3 weeks ago

Thanks for your advice everyone. I was drunk and sad last night when I posted this. I love this community 🥹

[–] TheCoolerMia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 3 weeks ago

for online friends u can message any time at any frequency and the other person will answer at any time and frequency they want, thats the neat part of online messages :3 and for what to say, ask each other questions until u find common interests and talk about those and also mention other things to maybe find more common interests! :3

Aww. I don't think I really have advice other than allow yourself to be a little annoying. More people should do that, honestly. Otherwise, everyone gets busy and forgets each other until a birthday comes up.

I do want to extend a warm, welcome, Internet hug, though. <3

[–] celeste@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 2 weeks ago

Don't start smoking everyone! You don't need it to talk about your hatd of capitalism sith otger people!

[–] mossy_@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago

Best way I've found is bonding over shared interests and playing games together. What're your hobbies?

[–] Morph9@lemmy.zip 2 points 2 weeks ago

[Comi-con cosplayers break]

[–] A_Very_Big_Fan@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago
[–] Jumuta@sh.itjust.works 0 points 2 weeks ago