Melbourne

Thank you everyone for the kindness. I have a big tray of roast veg in the oven so dinner/lunch is sorted and yummy at least. Will be having an early night and hopefully a sleep

I am okay, promise. It was a M O M E N T due to the vast amounts of alcohol I had.

But, went back home with my cousin and kept going till 3am with jaegermeister on ice 😱

My head hurts and hates me

For the DDT fam:

Pearl Jam! 🖤

I’ve almost lost my voice, but I am seriously emotional. Seeing Black live has always been a wish of my mine and tonight it came true.

I am so privileged.

I've only just managed to load my car with a full, penultimate load of stuff (and a fucking busted tyre still in the back lol).

All the little jars of spices, the oils and vinegars, random pantry odds and ends, the unbelievable amount of stuff in the bathroom, other stray items like a random desk lamp and bits in various containers just dumped into a box... couch accoutrements...

Had a shower in the old place, thankfully had the foresight to leave a change of clothes out, finally eating my only real meal for the day. I'm going to go straight to the other place, slap a sheet on the mattress and call it a night.

Chuck a sickie tomorrow, start moving stuff up, get tyre organised, clean old place with friend...

I'm seriously laughing at how much I underestimated this. Next time I'll start packing WAY earlier and take more time off!!

Hahahahahahahahahaha fuck me, of course I had to be careless and hit a kerb so hard I got a flat tyre on top of everything else... perfect timing...

Luckily roadside assist came very quickly but now I need to get a new tyre within 2 days 😭 anyone have tips on how to find a good tyre shop? I have no frigging idea. Need it done pretty quickly...

i think my upbringing is messing me up atm.

Old man was/is a sub specialist looking after acute disease / end of life stuff. Emotion is completely out the window when it comes to care (shit needs to get done with a clear mind). I was on the phone from about 13yo speaking to these patients when he wasn't home (which was a lot) and all I could do was listen to that fear. They just wanted someone to hear them (emotionally). Used to go on rounds with him and he has a very good bed side manner, but once out of the room back into get shit done mode.

Seeing mum in her chair just staring at the ground depressed is heartbreaking. Asking me to read texts from buds is heartbreaking. Her telling me the old man hasn't said a nice word since (he's in doc mode) is rough. I'm sort of caught between being someone she can speak to with emotion, but then I have to switch my own on and off depending on what needs to happen. When you leave the room it's a tidal wave of the realisation of a new reality for her.

All my discussions with the old man are clinical (and it needs to be), but I can see a few cracks in his demeanour which is.. unusual and.. heartbreaking (and telling).

I don't really have hope that her vision will recover beyond where it is now. But flipping emotion on and off like this is something I've never done.

God bless chilled out movers. Everything went flawlessly and they were such nice guys yet efficient and professional. The perfect thing for one of life's most stressful times.

One more item gone on FBM, another one pending... LL has finally emailed to say how she wants the keys dropped off - thankfully the agency's only a 15 min drive off peak from work, I could nip over during lunch and come back.

Need to catch my breath a little and eat something... then time for more ferocious packing and loading shit into my car.

Used airtasker for the first time today. Damn this is useful and convenient! Listed The Couch of Doom to be removed for a pretty reasonable price and 4 offers within 45 minutes. Now booked in to be taken tonight by someone who seems really lovely and will actually use it too and not just take it to the tip. Sure the connection fee is pricey but the stress relief is monumental...

I've put together everything that the movers need to take away now - just need to give the fridge and tv console a wipe down. Let's hope to fuck that they can actually carry everything up to the new place with its narrow staircase, I will be fucked if they can't fit it in (I guess airtasker to the rescue again to take stuff off the footpath asap 😂)

ABC news has a story that Alan Jones has been arrested on indecent assault charges spanning 20 years. About time.

Yesterday my dad called me a loser because I am underemployed right now. I am looking for another job that fits with the uni break, asking managers for more shifts, trying to better myself by actually having hobbies for once in my life and doing things with friends. Yeah, I still don't wake up super early, and yeah, I'm not happy with my life either, but I feel like I'm getting somewhere, after years of fighting battles in my mind and making shitty decisions.

Then you've got my twin sister who has had a full-time job even when she was studying, has a mortgage and her life is work, and she can get through each day without having to reassure herself that she's going to be fine. Most people my age aren't lucky enough to be in this position, but somehow this is the standard I'm expected to uphold. No one says it, but just by the way people in my life baby me around, I can tell that that's the way they want me to be.

/ end vent with lots of cognitive distortions

Sometimes I eat my dinner standing in the kitchen to avoid this exact scenario lol

I had a dream I failed a uni assignment. First one since I started this degree.

So it has begun...the anxiety, the self doubts, the...troubles.

I always wanted a turkey baster and thanks to Aldi I now have one.

Ps. When I typed in baster it automatically typed in bastard.

Yesterday I was in my lounge room and I heard water running so I cocked my head, went into the kitchen and realised FUCK ITS THE LAUNDRY. So I sprint in there and turn the tap off. My washing machine had sprung a leak. First thing i did was take off my socks because ick. Water everywhere. Luckily it didn't reach the hallway carpet. Cleaned it up. There was swearing but atleast I know I run towards danger, didn't panic and my hearing is still good.

Good news is I defrosted my freezer so I get to pack it with frozen goods from Aldi today.

Hey

I found an easy recipe for Golden Syrup Pudding. Oooo yeah.

I might have missed something - but anyone seen Bull lately? Is he still here under a different name?

So it’s no secret here that I’m on thin ice at work and work is on thin ice with me. I think that ice is going to crack on both sides when I ask for an extra week off after the Christmas break.

I'm going to try to squeeze one more day of leave from work. Considering I'm not taking a break over Xmas, I feel like 4 days of leave isn't a huge deal.

Let's see what happens lol

Okay, scrambled eggs, coffee and overpriced spring water consumed.

Please, please, please, heavy machinery be done when I get back.

I have an assignment due today that I haven't even started, so I'm getting lots of cleaning done 🤣

Well, the assignment is done and submitted. It's not very good. Hopefully it is enough to pass.

I really have no interest/enthusiasm for this subject, but it is compulsory in the diploma. I guess I just see how I go half arsing it and if I fail try to kick myself into trying a bit harder next go around.

Righty ho. I've done the washing, vacuumed, done a thorough clean of the plate rack, been to the food market, cut up strawberries for the freezer and gone to the post office to deposit some cash. It might just be time to make a start on that assignment now...

I think I'll be happy if I hear a few songs from Ten tonight to be honest.

had the best fish and chips I've had in a long time down at tooradin over the weekend. the bakery there is also amazing so worth checking out if you are ever down that way.

I've had a weird spot on my hand that I've had for 8+ years randomly heal and also a lump on my leg that I've had for 20ish years also randomly heal.

Do I go see my GP or Charles Xavier?

Awake. I don't think the fish and chips I had for dinner agreed with me. Ugh.