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Should add the ex yugos. My dick hurts.

What are they doing in the Netherlands?

Romanian would be either "I'll put my feet in it" or "I'll put my dick in it"

Czech (pretty much also Slovak):

• "Mám v piči" - I have that in my pussy
• "Je mi to u prdele" - it is (exists) next to my anus

"It doesn't fuck a dick to me"

Italian

Turkish: Not on my cock (Sikimde değil)

Layeth thine eyes upon my field of fucks and behold that it is barren.

French Canadian: To chalice oneself

"Je m'en caliss"

This is missing the worst one to translate:

I have kama two.

It doesn't fully make grammatical sense in the original Estonian form either. The "have" part is also usually skipped, leaving just the noun case implying ownership over the kama

This is just one of many ways to say it in Estonian. We really are a nonfuckgiving people, except when we give too many of course. You can also say "I have clay" or "I have a (violin) bow". Of course these are just slightly rude (depending on tone and conversational partner), you can also say "doesn't ballsack me".

Ma doare in pulă. That is in romanian from what I have learned which basically means I feel pain in my dick

There are more vulgar ones in Spain:

Me la suda ("la" refers to "la polla"): It makes my dick sweat

Me la pela: It peels my dick

Me importa una mierda: That matters a shit to me

Obviously, this last one is closer to "I don't give a shit," but it's essentially the same sentiment.

"I have it up my ass" (Polish).

n. I couldn't give a flying fuck (English English)
n+1. Ah couldnae gi a flyin' fuck (Scottish)

Swearing in Greece and across most of the whole region is hilarious. The actual "I don't care"/"zero fucks given" phrase is to write something on your balls or dick.

So many sayings are mother/whore/balls/dick based - not offensive phrases, just common sayings.

Rare french w

My dick hurts (Bosnian, Serbian, Croatian)

I Brazilian portuguese that would be "Caguei" -> I took a shit

It sucks me (as in fellatio) an egg (testicle).

It sucks my dick.

I care a crow's nest (as in ships)

I care a turd.

I care a shit.

(Spanish again, we are creative people, as someone pointed out, the New World is way more colorful than Spain)

"I shit on it!" ("Szarok rá!") - in Hungarian.

Besides that just "I don't care." ("Nem érdekel.")

Maybe "Not even the dog cares, who lives in/at the shooting range." ("Lőtéri kutyát nem érdekli.") But it's more like for situations where you want to express, that nobody cares.

It naps on my dick. (Bulgaria)

Geez, the Greeks are a surly bunch.