Asklemmy

On a related note, if the bill already has a “gratuity” entry on it, am I still expected to tip on top of that?

Ribbits

Yes you need to tip if you are at a sit-down restaurant with a server taking your order at the table.

Whether or not you or anyone else agrees with that, it is the cultural norm and you would absolutely be rude not to.

If you are uncomfortable with this, choose to eat somewhere where you won't be expected to tip. Don't knowingly go to a restaurant where tipping is expected and then refuse to do so out of principle.

My rule of thumb is whether I'm getting a service or a product. If I eat at a restaurant and I have a waiter, I'll tip. If I eat at a restaurant and there is no waiter I generally don't tip.

For example. I don't tip at ice cream or froyo places. I just served myself. Why would I tip?

Not at all: Not if you avoid purchasing anything involving tipped-services! People who pay their workers so little that they need to be tipped tend not to get my business.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rEQhA-JJlH0

In America, if you don't tip for things like restaurant table service or delivery, rides (like taxis or Uber), car valet, room service, or someone helping you with your bags, yes, you are the asshole. Yes, tipping is usually just subsidizing employers' payrolls, which is bad, but it is also the cultural norm here. You are likely to be publicly dressed down if you fail to tip, even accidentally. Sorry, but that's just the way it is until we get some real worker organization and empowerment going.

So will AITA if I don’t tip?

Yes

Is it really my personal responsibility to make sure my server is paid enough?

Because of the circumstances, taxes, and customs, yes -- in this case -- the responsibility has been pushed onto you.

You're right that it is ridiculous and unfair, but it is also currently the way it is. By not following the custom, the one being most hurt is the one least able to do anything about it. You also have to walk around afterward thinking that you maybe did not do the best thing.

It seems there’s a lot of discussion about getting rid of tipping, but I don’t know how much has changed in this regard.

Some experiments have been tried, and in some places a 'service charge' appears in lieu of tipping (you need not tip in these places).

Also, recently, counter service has put out tip jars and credit-card screen prompts for before-service tipping. You need not do it at all there. However, if a server has served you beyond the counter, tipping after the service is customary.

To tip 20%, take the subtotal (before the taxes), and move the decimal point one to the left. $28.00 becomes 2.800 (10%) then double that result, $5.60 (20%) is a good full-service tip on a $28.00 bill. More is welcome but never expected or required. Tipping down to 15% is fine, too, don't try to make it an exact science. Tipping outside of 15-20% -- after the service -- is usually done to send a message although studies have not shown that servers really care about those messages too much.

Because of this dastardly system, not tipping is particularly bad because tipping is most of their income. By not tipping, they are working essentially for nearly free in most U.S. states (a very low hourly rate, well below poverty wages).

And finally, if you don't know, honestly and politely ask them or a manager. "I'm not from the USA. Can you tell me how much I am expected to tip in this situation?" Servers may be a little generous with their answer, but most people are honest and happy to know that you will not stiff them for their tip.

Doordash driver: The federal government values mileage at $0.63/mile for tax purposes. They would value the vehicle expenses of a 6-mile delivery at $3.78.

Minimum wage in my state is $10.10 per hour. A 6-mile delivery takes 20 minutes, or $3.03. Anything less than $6.81 for this delivery, and the driver is earning less than minimum wage.

DD typically pays the driver $2.

A tip less than $4.81 means you expect the driver to earn less than minimum wage.

There's another problem: Doordash's primary rating system for it's drivers is "acceptance rate". The higher your acceptance rate, the higher you are prioritized for offers. The lowest tier of drivers has to wait for everyone in the area above him to be unavailable or to reject an order before he gets to work.

When a customer makes a low-tip or no-tip order, they expect a driver to pay for the privilege of delivering the order, and they are willing to ding the acceptance rating of every single driver in the area who refuses to work at a loss.

If you're sitting down at a table having a meal with a waiter who is taking your order and bringing you your food then yes, 15-20% tip is strongly encouraged. If you're going into a place where you order your food at a counter and pick it up yourself to take to your table or back to your home then tipping is not necessary.

"yes, it's wrong. but if you don't tip, you are making the waiter go hungry"

WTF? no, the bosses are. generally bosses are making their employees go hungry, but in the restaurant business they just managed to shift the blame unto the customers. it seems really twisted to me

where i live tipping is really optional, and most don't, unless they're rounding up the bill. i have several friends who do or did work as a waiter and i aways found it sad how they would talk with resentment about the customers they would pretend to like, not sparing a word for their bosses who were sucking them dry with low wages, unpaid extra hours and a fuckin' sick workplace culture

Others have answered the question, but I did want to mention - many people mention that tips are important because employees can be paid below minimum wage, this varies state by state, and in my experience tipping is standard regardless of this.

Here's a table of minimum wage by state:

https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/state/minimum-wage/tipped

The "Minimum Cash Wage" column is the "tipped" minimum wage - this is what employers can pay for jobs that get tips. The "Basic Combined Cash & Tip Minimum Wage Rate" is the minimum wage for non-tipped jobs, as well as the minimum a tipped employee must receive in wage plus tips - if they don't make enough tips, legally the employer must pay the difference.

So for example, in Washington state where I am, the minimum wage is $15.74 whether you're tipped or not, but it's still considered rude not to tip, and 20% is still the standard "good" tip.

So will AITA if I don’t tip? Is it really my personal responsibility to make sure my server is paid enough?

ABSOLUTELY NOT Don't let anybody tell you otherwise. It is and should be employers job to pay their workers a living wage in a rich country not the buyers.

Culturally, there will be people who will look down on or say nasty things to you if they find out you do not/did not tip. This happened to me. Some of the nasty comments (these are not said by the employees) people say are "The employees will remember this and may spit in your food or tamper with it in some way next time you order, which has got to be illegal for health code reasons for employees to do and is guilt tripping on the person who says this comment. Not only that, but those who say such awful things are continuing the nasty treatment of employees by the ruling class by saying such nasty remarks.

Tips are a way for service industry workers to avoid taxes. I wonder if there's any reliable statistics on how many workers in the service industry report their tips accurately to the IRS

Try to tip 10% at absolutely minimum, so a $19 bill would be around $21, but I would try to add $1 or $2.

If you pay with a credit card there will be a line where you can write down the tip, and sometimes they will have suggested tip amounts.

If the state you’re going to has 10% sales tax, you can just add however much the tax was, plus alpha.

Sometimes, at some establishments, if you forget the server will run after you and ask for a tip, assuming it was a mistake on your part. Not really that common though!

Hope this helped!