this post was submitted on 11 Feb 2025
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Trump given power to rename Greenland 'Red, White and Blueland' under new bill tabled by Republicans (www.lbc.co.uk)
submitted 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) by PanArab@lemm.ee to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world
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It is real!

https://buddycarter.house.gov/news/documentsingle.aspx?DocumentID=15398

Rep. Earl L. “Buddy” Carter (R-GA) released the following statement today after introducing a bill authorizing President Trump to acquire Greenland and renaming it Red, White, and Blueland:

“America is back and will soon be bigger than ever with the addition of Red, White, and Blueland. President Trump has correctly identified the purchase of what is now Greenland as a national security priority, and we will proudly welcome its people to join the freest nation to ever exist when our Negotiator-in-Chief inks this monumental deal.”

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[–] snekerpimp@lemmy.world 130 points 2 days ago (25 children)

WHAT ABOUT MY FUCKING EGG PRICES YOU GERIATRIC FUCK?!?!

[–] tootoughtoremember@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Best I can do is a new global pandemic. But with no public information from Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and without working with the World Health Organization.

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[–] HornedMeatBeast@lemmy.world 111 points 2 days ago (8 children)

Dammit!

I said this as a joke nearly a month ago on Discord.

[–] BigBananaDealer@lemm.ee 52 points 2 days ago (1 children)

all i get from this is that Donald Trump is in your discord server and stole your idea

[–] HornedMeatBeast@lemmy.world 28 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I know exactly who it is.

Actually, I'm just going to accuse the one person I know that will be the most upset about me calling him out as Trump.

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[–] Jhex@lemmy.world 30 points 1 day ago

This government is stupider and more childish than any TikTok challenge to date... combined

[–] FoxyFerengi@lemm.ee 51 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Red, White, and Blueland

Does this mean France, and Russia, and every other country with those colors in their flags also have claims to that land?

[–] frog_brawler@lemmy.world 22 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Sure, whatever. We’re living in the clown timeline anyway.

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[–] UndercoverUlrikHD@programming.dev 1 points 1 day ago

I'm sure he is just referencing Norway which originally claimed the land before "somehow" Denmark got it, right?

[–] Quadhammer@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

Lets get some new names for russia china and brazil while we're at it. Ill start brazil is now south texas

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 60 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Oh my fucking God. Holy sweet fucking Lord in heaven. Jesus fucking Christ. I'm already done.

[–] ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one 24 points 1 day ago

And here we are; all thinking that we are in the dumbest timeline. Turns out, we are all right about that.

Let's see how dumb this timeline will get.

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[–] sarcasticsunrise@lemmy.world 42 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Cool. Just renamed my apartment "The REAL United States of America". Every room is now a new state. The guest bathroom is obviously "New Ohio". There. See how much that lowered egg prices?

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[–] IzzyScissor@lemmy.world 36 points 1 day ago (4 children)

Red + Blue = Purple + White = .. Lilac?

Lilacland?

[–] ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 day ago

I bet they have a lot of Lilacs there, we should go

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[–] vividkitten@lemm.ee 15 points 1 day ago

there's no way we're not living in a simulation. it fucking sucks. Please, somebody delete me right now I don't want to play anymore 😭

[–] NocturnalMorning@lemmy.world 75 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Now they're just trying to distract us from the actual dangerous shit they're doing behind the scenes. Don't fall for it!

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[–] meowmeowbeanz@sh.itjust.works 34 points 1 day ago

The geopolitical fanfiction writes itself. Renaming Greenland like some corporate rebrand desperate to distract from melting assets – national security theater now starring spray-painted glaciers. The cognitive contortions needed to frame territorial karaoke as "strategic expansion" would earn Olympic gold in mental gymnastics.

They've upgraded from labeling dissenters "anti-American" to legislating cartographic fanfic. Six-month bureaucratic deadlines for rewriting maps? Peak legislative productivity achieved while infrastructure crumbles and healthcare implodes. At least the Sharpie industry thrives.

Denmark's diplomatic eye-roll echoes through the performative patriotism. Soft power evolves into PowerPoint jingoism – why address rising seas when you can rename them? The real climate action? Mandating all future hurricanes adopt surnames from Founding Fathers. Priorities, people.

[–] tal@lemmy.today 65 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (5 children)

Trump given power

No, he hasn't. Congress hasn't passed it -- it's just been introduced as a bill.

One House Representative introduced it and then released the statement.

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[–] tiefling@lemmy.blahaj.zone 64 points 2 days ago

Truly this will make eggs cheaper

[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 15 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

This "buddy" is so nose deep up Trumps ass that he just climbed out of his mouth

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[–] Gammelfisch@lemmy.world 13 points 1 day ago

Thankfully, the dipshit, Buddy, is not related to former President Jimmy Carter.

[–] Punchshark@lemmy.ca 12 points 1 day ago

Careful, his idiot followers are going to believe this 4200%

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