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I'm bending reality to my will (lemmy.nz)

submitted 2 years ago by rickyrigatoni@lemm.ee to c/wizards@lemmy.world

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[-] v4ld1z@lemmy.zip 70 points 2 years ago

Three-day weekends pretty please

[-] rickyrigatoni@lemm.ee 55 points 2 years ago

I have added an eighth day to the week.

[-] InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world 33 points 2 years ago

I'm willing to settle for that.

[-] Donkter@lemmy.world 9 points 2 years ago

Functionally similar

[-] v4ld1z@lemmy.zip 7 points 2 years ago

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[-] Nay@feddit.nl 51 points 2 years ago

gestures around broadly Can you do anything about this?

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[-] GandalftheBlack@feddit.org 33 points 2 years ago

Perfectly balanced

[-] runeko@programming.dev 11 points 2 years ago

"Reality is a one-trick pony. You only get one trick: rational thought, but when you're good and crazy, the sky's the limit!" - The Tick

[-] 0ndead@infosec.pub 22 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Remove all fascists in a way that they deserve

[-] Brunbrun6766@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago

Id prefer a dr strange style memory wipe, of the entire concept

[-] JackLSauce@lemmy.world 19 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

One downvote, please

Edit: this is fucking bullshit...

[-] rickyrigatoni@lemm.ee 31 points 2 years ago

Australian downvote.

[-] caseyweederman@lemmy.ca 16 points 2 years ago

Yeah I'll have a uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[-] rickyrigatoni@lemm.ee 14 points 2 years ago

Sir. You are holding up the drive through.

[-] caseyweederman@lemmy.ca 4 points 2 years ago

Chicken enchirito

[-] MrShankles@reddthat.com 4 points 2 years ago

Annnnd theeennnnnn????

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[-] Angelusz@lemmy.world 12 points 2 years ago

Empathy for everyone, without the ability to suppress it using drugs.

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[-] M4t1cc@lemmy.world 11 points 2 years ago

For all of us to have a good day tomorrow

[-] coldsideofyourpillow@lemmy.cafe 11 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

I want a buttplug that's programmed to win the next elections.

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[-] Genius@lemmy.zip 10 points 2 years ago

Can you pick up some frozen peas?

[-] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 9 points 2 years ago

Phased plasma rifle in the 40-watt range

[-] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago

Hey, just what you see pal.

[-] theneverfox@pawb.social 9 points 2 years ago

Could we add a magic system? Like the kind that will just fuck everything up, and brings enormous health benefits as you improve

[-] Xerxos@lemmy.ml 9 points 2 years ago

Get me a big tiddy goth girlfriend?

[-] Tencho@lemmy.world 9 points 2 years ago

Can you cure my depression

[-] P1k1e@lemmy.world 12 points 2 years ago

Yea, cure this guy's depression

[-] Kolanaki@pawb.social 9 points 2 years ago

A pack of condoms and, uh... What was it that I used to eat all the time back in the day? Oh yeah, some pussy.

[-] caseyweederman@lemmy.ca 5 points 2 years ago

I don't think they're allowed to sell that any more

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[-] LodeMike@lemmy.today 8 points 2 years ago

Some potato chips.

[-] demian@lemmy.ml 7 points 2 years ago

Trash throwed at the bin across the room go into it everytime, without fail.

[-] casmael@lemm.ee 7 points 2 years ago

Bro what a fantastic meme 🙏

[-] RizzoTheSmall@lemm.ee 6 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Financial freedom would be pretty neat if you could swing it my good wizard dude

[-] rickyrigatoni@lemm.ee 14 points 2 years ago

You are transported to the neolithic period.

[-] RizzoTheSmall@lemm.ee 3 points 2 years ago

Hmm.. is anyone else with me?

[-] rickyrigatoni@lemm.ee 7 points 2 years ago

I sent you to the middle of France.

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[-] lena@gregtech.eu 6 points 2 years ago

Make me a cis girl pleeeeeeease :3

[-] rickyrigatoni@lemm.ee 12 points 2 years ago

[-] caseyweederman@lemmy.ca 3 points 2 years ago

Jessica Jessica

[-] metaStatic@kbin.earth 5 points 2 years ago

2 pints of lager and a packet of crisps please

[-] arotrios@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago

As many pixies and goblins as you can summon into the toilets of Mar a Lago.

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[-] tetris11@lemmy.ml 5 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

I would very much like the Witching Cloak from Fables in my possession

Lets the wearer take on any form and converse with animals
Wearer becomes impervious to all damage
Infinite number of items can be stored within its folds
Has programmable folding and teleportation actions

If you do grant me this boon, dear Wizard, I shall set you up with not one but two, two, dates with Cinderella.

[-] ICastFist@programming.dev 5 points 2 years ago

I want to have your powers, too. Thanks.

[-] Maggoty@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

If I could be 20 again, that would great... And if you're feeling generous, maybe some wizarding lessons?

[-] peoplebeproblems@midwest.social 4 points 2 years ago

If you're still bending reality, I could use more time.

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[-] ristoril_zip@lemmy.zip 4 points 2 years ago

I assume this includes changing the past so how about have Bernie win the 2016 Democratic Primary.

Or go back and have SCOTUS say the 2000 Florida recount could continue until the true winner was determined.

Or go back and have Carter win in 1980 by revealing the collusion between the Reagan campaign and Iran (might have to include breaking the OPEC bullshit too).

If none of that, and assuming "free will" can't be overridden, maybe Freaky Friday the consciousnesses of the 2024 Democratic candidates &. spouses into the bodies of the Republican equivalents. If there's some limitation based on the biological sex of the participants, put Doug into Trump and Kamala into Melania, they're a team anyway.