Hypocritic Oath: First, swear no oaths.
this post was submitted on 19 Oct 2023
402 points (96.5% liked)
xkcd
8883 readers
282 users here now
A community for a webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language.
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
Hydrohomic Oath: First, drink 8 glasses of water
The Hippocratic oath kinda cracks me up, cuz we break it almost immediately at the start of most procedures by shoving a needle or scalpel into the skin.
I guess "do only necessary harm that will presumably heal in a way that results in a net positive" doesn't roll off the tongue quite as well.
Anyway, we fixed your appendicitis! damns you to a life of poverty with a bill that absolutely destroys your financial health
Its more “like first weigh the possible harm versus the potential benefit and do not pursue treatment avenues that are more likely to harm than do good”. If it were truly just “first do no harm”, medicine would not be practicable, because any intervention carries risks of some nature, don’t even get me started on oncology.
It is also worth noting that “first do no harm” is not even all that close to the wording of the actual oath, originally it is in fact more like what I typed out above.
The original hippocratic oath, by hippocrates, also forbids doing abortions on consenting women.
Look on the bright side - we've made a good half-step of progress since then!
Hydrodiving oath: first, avoid delta p.
Hemophilic Oath, First do no bleeding.
pathetic oath missing....
But I can give you the apathetic oath:
First: who cares 😒
Hippodromic oath should be first, wear your color. The hippodrome pretty much ran the politics of the empire.
First, Journey.
So pardon me while I burst, and rise above the flames. Pardon me. Pardon me. Will I ever be the same?