Ask Lemmy

This too shall pass

Just the fuckin way she goes boys

Don't know if it counts, but I often think about when I face difficult situations.

"You’ll feel better in the morning."

I get a lot of intrusive, negative, catastrophising thoughts late at night. Worrying about things I would never worry about during daylight.

I always try to tell myself: don't think about this stuff right now, it's not helpful. Put it aside and if it still feels important in the morning then you can do something about it. Fixating on it right now serves no useful purpose.

"I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us." J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

This resonated a lot with me during the pandemic shutdown.

That didn't work... Next!

And when it's a real big mess: In 100 years, nobody will know or care.

"Slow down for a moment, tackle one thing at a time" helps a lot when I'm anxious and overwhelmed.

"This too will pass"

True for both good and bad times. Good time? Enjoy it, since it will pass. Bad time? Endure it, it will pass.

Shit piss cunt cocksucker shits fart dirty twat

The way out is through.

"One day at a time. One hour at a time. Let's just get through this one little task."

It’ll sound cheesy, but “Don’t Go Hollow” is that phrase for me.

In 2019, I was hospitalized for suicidal ideation. When at in-patient, we didn’t get much to express ourselves. Every meal, we ate with plastic utensils and foam plates and cups for safety. I would carve that phrase into the cups, along with a bonfire.

“Don’t Go Hollow” goes back to Dark Souls. It’s a phrase that means something in the game world, but it’s also metaphorical. What’s an avatar without the player? It’s like a body without spirit. You’re not progressing in the game because you checked out. If you want to keep going, you need to be present, to keep trying.

Other ones that come to mind are “This is a moment. It will pass.” which I said in the showers that scared the fuck out of me, and “Fall down 7 times, get up 8.” “Let it rip,” from the Bear is another one I like.

It's what it's. My butchering of it is what it is

"I am here, I move forward." Might do for you. Say it, take the time to see where you are and what you can do next. Even a small improvement is valid, just make sure you move and don't dwell on things you can't control.

Best of luck.

My personal favorite is from Wheel of Time

"Almost dead yesterday, maybe dead tomorrow, but alive gloriously alive today"

Another good one from the same series is "We are always more afraid than we wish to be, but we can always be braver than we expect."

”I can kill myself tomorrow."

Sometimes it means one thing, sometimes another.

The whole book of Ecclesiastes

There is neither happiness nor unhappiness in this world; there is only the comparison of one state with another. Only a man who has felt ultimate despair is capable of feeling ultimate bliss. It is necessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live.....the sum of all human wisdom will be contained in these two words: Wait and Hope.

Alexandre Dumas, The Count of Monte Cristo

This is probably a toxic one I learned from my teachers that time I tried learning Korean:

If it feels like you're drowning it's cause you haven't died yet.

"it's okay, just keep swimming". That's really what i always tell myself.

In the future this will be a period of time I'll remember clearly, which makes it valuable. Easy times lead to no substantial memories which is effectively the loss of that time.

Not really a mantra, but I try to remind myself that the only thing that seems to be certain in life is change. If you're in a shitty spot, just wait for the change. Will it be a change for the good or a change for the bad? You can't always predict it, but it WILL change. Often, that means when I'm in a shitty mood or scenario, I wait for the change to happen in a more positive direction.

🎵Just keep swimming, just keep swimming🎶

"Whatever happens, happens."

• Spike Spiegel, Cowboy Bebop.

It is a space anime with characters living quick and dangerous, but due to the way it is written, hand-animated, detailed, and grounded to a heavy extent, this one anime hits different as I age. It is itself targeting an older audience compared other blockbuster animes, but nevertheless it is one that keeps some aspects with you through the rewatches, but can also have substantial new feelings as you gain different life experiences. All of the main characters themselves have some kind of a past that is weighing them down through their current affairs, but their power to go on can be mostly summarized to living a life in limbo all the while trying to cope with it via simple tough-guy acts of trying to be indifferent to it.

It is not a good mantra that can be maintained for long. It is rather something that helps delaying the immediate feelings before the acceptance comes.

I gatekeep my own misery with perspective.

Knowing that there's billions of people having a far worse moment/day/life keeps me intact. I have nothing to complain about.

I say "fuck this" or "fuck that" or "fuck it all" or "fuck everything" pretty often. I guess that?

"If you're going through hell, keep going" -Winston Churchill

My mantra is just rama rama rama. Meditation with a mantra helps a lot of you put in the work beforehand.

It sounds like you're talking more about a motivational slogan, though. Mine is, "You don't have to want it, you just have to do it." It helps because it frees me from the tyranny of desire. I don't need to figure out if I'm in the mood. I don't need to trick myself into enjoying it. I can just do the thing and be done with it.

Relatedly, there's a line from a favorite book, "Somebody has to and no one else will" with a similar vibe.

My dad always said "Always do the right thing", and "the world is what you make of it"

I don't have one, but these replies remind me of some lines from Inglourious Basterds:

"You'll be hanged for this!"

"No, I'll get chewed out. I've been chewed out before."

"Nothing changes if nothing changes"

Fate is inescapable to both protagonists as antagonists. Death remains the great equalizer across all layers of society.

Hakuna matata!

Fall down seven times, stand up eight times.

Go through the pain, as it is the way

Once you went through it and the pain is no more, you'll have a whole new range of possible that were masked by the pain beforehand.

Don't die tho

"Tough times never last, only tough people last. *alien translation*" youtube

When I was young life was pure chaos. It was a constant battle and I often looked for things that would ground me and let my mind rest for a bit. I discovered the Peter Gabriel song Washing of the Water. I really liked how he sang it and so I memorized the words. They are good and when its a very dark time for me, the words are a great way for me to gain a little mental peace.

The whole song is beautiful. The perfect balance of wanting calm in hard times and finding peace in the nature of things https://piped.video/watch?v=Ic4N6rT6Qks

swearing like an injured sailor under my breath

"I'm working on it." when I feel like things are where I want them to be, but they're gradually getting there, it makes it seem okay, since I'm actively working towards a goal. This could be my weightloss, managing my depression, cleaning the house, or going through endless emails. It helps to know that it's fine that it's not perfect or great yet, but I'm working on it.

Ah well, nothing to be done about it, might as well carry on

It’s got to be true and uplifting.

One of the most effective for me has been “I can make my life a little better today”.

I just keep repeating that when I have nothing in the tank, and it helps me find a little more.

I made it through 100% of all the bad days, weeks and months in my life so far. I will also make it through the ones that have yet to come.

...and on my more cynical days, this follow-up:

And if, one day, I won't survive a bad day, then it is not my f[%$]ng problem anymore.

I tried to have a more positive mantra, but eventually realized that sheer spite can be a powerful motivator in bad times, even more so than trying to stay "nice" to the rest of the world.