But only over dial-up.

You have no choice but to see everything, wether you want to or not.

Butt stuff is marginally less fun.

But you are incredibly smart. BOOM GOTEM.

You end up with no superpowers at all

You have no inhibitive filter, and compulsively blurt out whatever you’re thinking, including whatever the person is thinking when you’re reading their mind.

You make noise every time you walk

Uncontrollable and overwhelming diarrhea whenever you use any of the chosen superpowers, which is immune to any kinds of “and I’m immune to the side effect” types of loophole powers.

This one doesn't really need a monkey's paw curse since, as written, I'd argue you could only change it once anyway, then you'd be stuck with that power.

You don't get to choose the location, it's just a random place you've been before.

But you can only use it at 0°N 0°E