Go Robinson or Winkel.
https://futuremaps.com/blogs/news/top-10-world-map-projections
A place for majestic STEMLORD peacocking, as well as memes about the realities of working in a lab.

Rules
If I have to shower in gym class I want the mercator-projection showers.
Do you shower in a handstand?
Is Africa the only one here not stuffing socks down their trousers?
The oceans are huge.
Damn Indonesia is huge.
Brazil could be the world's superpower but they have other priorities.
I don't think Tasmania is right
Anyone know of a 2D map print of true size? All I've found print wise is Mercator or other such variations.
Let me know if I understand correctly. You want a true to life sized map of earth? 😳
They want a 2d map of earth but with every continent to true size at scale, rather than Mercator projection where the northern hemisphere is expanded to increase their importance over the southern hemisphere.
Mercator wasn’t created in order to increase importance of the northern hemisphere, but to allow for directional rhumb lines to be drawn for shipping. For its intended purpose of navigation, it does an excellent job.
I don't know what you mean by "other such variations", but maybe you are looking for a map with something like the Mollweide projection? That's a bit of distortion in shape but trying to keep areas real.
Whatever happened to that wavy "W/M" looking one I remember seeing on some news stations when I was younger?
The Goode Homolosine projection. You lose accurate direction, shape, AND size to a degree, but less size issues than some projections. It's a good way to remind kids that the world is round, but once you try to use it for anything like showing a route or visualizing relative distances, the limitations become significant.