this post was submitted on 29 Nov 2023
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United States | News & Politics

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In an editorial published last week titled, “If Attitudes Don’t Shift, A Political Dating Mismatch Will Threaten Marriage,” The Washington Post’s editorial board points out that political polarization in this country has reached the point where it is now a prominent, often decisive factor in determining who Americans settle on as their potential mates. They emphasize this trend is now so acute it may actually threaten the institution of marriage as a whole. In particular, it seems that Democratic women are rejecting potential Republican suitors not only for marriage but as relationship material, all across the board. The message the editorial conveys—perhaps hyperbolically, perhaps not—is that as a consequence of this shift in attitudes, marriage itself in this country is in jeopardy.

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[–] themeatbridge@lemmy.world 361 points 1 year ago (2 children)

As a man, I feel like my perspective hasn't been fully represented in this editorial. I'd like it to be noted for posterity that men don't want to marry Trump supporters, either.

[–] DevCat@lemmy.world 123 points 1 year ago (7 children)

It's worse than that. I'm bi, and I won't have anything to do with male or female trump supporters.

I don't know if it's just me, but I seem to have noticed a rise in interest in poly arrangements lately. I wonder if there's any kind of connection there.

[–] themeatbridge@lemmy.world 124 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I think we can simply conclude that, regardless of gender or sexual attraction, as more and more people are able to openly love whoever they choose, fewer people are choosing to love bigots.

[–] proudblond@lemmy.world 30 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yeah, I feel like the stereotypical portrayal of marriage in the 50s through, say, the 80s was not particularly positive. Many people I know would rather be single than be in an awful marriage, myself included. I found a good one but if anything happened to him, at this point I doubt I’d even try dating at all.

[–] CleoTheWizard@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago

I think a lot of this has to do with the fact that people are work. So we sit here working 50-60 hour work weeks with one week of PTO and barely enough money to pay for groceries and rent and guess what happens? People get depressed. Discouraged. Exhausted. Sick. Poor. Whatever. The absolute last thing I want to do is have someone tell me about my star sign on tinder and then get stuck in a relationship.

And as a young person, I feel like the older generation doesn’t get it at all. They didn’t have to meticulously plan their future. They could accidentally have a kid at 18 and still buy a house at 23. They aren’t emotionally compatible with their partners most of the time. They just did what was expected of them pretty much.

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.world 41 points 1 year ago

I'm down for almost anything with almost anyone...just not fascism or fascists. I'm weird like that I guess.

[–] ArumiOrnaught@kbin.social 39 points 1 year ago

Bi, poly, married. 0 tolerance. If you're needing this much trust, then there is no way I could be with someone who doesn't trust reality. I don't have time, the mental capacity, or desire to be with someone who probably should be in a special needs group.

The amount of hand holding and coddling these people need to not throw a fit is crazy. You won't even get the crazy sex you'd expect from someone that deranged. 2 pumps and they're going to think they're champions. No after care, nothing but doggy, they won't even do the dishes.

They're nothing but dead weight in a relationship. A family is a multiple person event. You expect someone who can't see past their nose to be good in that environment?

Your best case scenario with dating conservatives is basically with the rapist Brock Turner. He's at least rich you can mooch off of before...the obvious happens.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago

Probably not, my polycule doesn’t allow trump supporters. Though it once had a guy who listened to Jordan Peterson until it became clear it wasn’t a phase he could be talked out of

[–] SoylentBlake@lemm.ee 14 points 1 year ago

Prob due to rising costs of rents.

Necessity is the mother(s) of invention

[–] CosmicTurtle@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I want to say that there was a study that was done that said something along the lines of a correlation between cost of living and polyamory. Since more money is required to own a house, etc. that poly relations are a natural byproduct of it.

Don't know how true that is or even if I'm remembering properly.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago

Idk about that article but I do remember an article about the hidden cost of polyamory. Specifically you find yourself going out to nice things more often in the process of prioritizing multiple relationships and that adds up.

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[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 90 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Guys, I'm an old (52) hetero man in a red state (Florida).

I have had more luck dating in the last 4-years than ever in life. My god. The fine, fine women I've met and known (yes, biblically known) has been mind blowing. (Just married one last Friday!)

But if I had had anything conservative on my dating profiles? Yeah. No. HARD no from these women.

One time I joked about being a redneck.

"Uh... Exactly how redneck?"

"If you're asking like that? I'm something of a country boy, but I fucking loathe Trump."

"Oh. Whew. Just checking."

[–] Black616Angel@feddit.de 43 points 1 year ago (2 children)

"What? A redneck?"

"Yeah, got a sunburn on a 'black lives matter' ralley.

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[–] StunningGoggles@sh.itjust.works 67 points 1 year ago (2 children)

42% of women voted for Trump. As a left leaning person living in a red state, there are plenty of trump loving women for them to choose from in their 30's. Republican men in liberal areas are probably going to feel it though lol

[–] funkpandemic@lemmy.ca 39 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I would guess a large portion of that 42% of women are on the older side, which, for the purposes of this article, would not really be considered peak marriage or dating age.

[–] Algaroth@lemmy.world 29 points 1 year ago

They may very well also already be married. Probably to a Trumptard.

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[–] ChucklesMacLeroy@lemmy.world 66 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

I don't get it. I mean look at all of the dudes in the main photo. All dreamboats.

Fingers McGee is definitely a keeper. His furrowed brow and lack of wedding ring show he's definitely on the market. Sure, he could have taken it off because he's travelling for the rally and is hoping for some fresh rally tail, but he looks so politically engaged he has to be "real". By bucking the traditional maga red, his bright blue hat he shows he is his own person. He also connects to his roots with a shirt featuring a sweet whitetail ready for mounting.

Dopey on his left let's the ladies know he is prepared with two pens in his T-shirt pocket. His four necks shows he can afford groceries in Biden's economy.

Just behind Dopey is my pervy 9th grade math teacher that always made comments about his "skivies" and not holding farts in. He's off the market as he is married to Louise. She's loves her neighborhood - except that weird Laotian family down the block - and truly believes Thelma Harper from Momma's Family is a fashion icon.

To the right is Russian expat, Leonard Chesnakek, aka Lenny Chesney . He loves his folded hat with sunglasses more than his mom's borsht. He also secretly loves his matching pink shirt and shorts even though he tells his girlfriend of 2 weeks, Mary, he hates them because "they're gay". Mary has no idea what's going on and is wondering when she can go pee.

To Lefty's immediate right, we witness Don and Lisa having an existential moment. After 26 years in the military and defending the constitution, the realization that 2 years of retirement and a 10 hour daily dose of FEAUX News might not have been such a good idea.

[–] lobsticle@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago

Thelma Harper from Momma's Family

Damn dude, this is a deep cut.

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[–] the_q@lemmy.world 60 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Aww man... What does this mean for country music and large truck purchases?

[–] blackbrook@mander.xyz 24 points 1 year ago

Short term boom, long term bust.

I'm predicting a surge in new truck nuts purchases.

[–] spudwart@spudwart.com 16 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

“Millennials killing the Country and Excessively Large Truck Industry (we’re still lumping Gen Z and Gen Alpha into the ‘Millenial’ group.)”

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[–] ASeriesOfPoorChoices@lemmy.world 59 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If only we could breed out that stupidity, like an inverse Idiocracy. Still, props to those American women with standards.

[–] EmpathicVagrant@lemmy.world 28 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Don’t worry they’ll have 10 kids in each household so they won’t die out.

[–] WeeSheep@lemmy.world 38 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Not just per household. I know one who shit talks previous women he kept sleeping with, knowing they wanted kids when he didn't, because the women kept the kids. I learned he was a Trump supporter because we talked about abortion when federal rights were removed. He had many opinions that don't make sense individually, but upon my promoting he admitted he wanted control and men should have the full right to decide what happens to a women's body, either the dad or the man who she is currently sleeping with, those two can determine what happens to her, but women should have no autonomy. He isn't the smartest and I'm sure was repeating what others have told him, but the entitlement is intense.

[–] IzzyJ@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago

That shit should get him on a watchlist at minimum

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[–] cogman@lemmy.world 58 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"I worship a racist orange Nazi , why won't women touch my pee pee?!?!"

[–] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 19 points 1 year ago

Probably because of the tiny hands

[–] CherenkovBlue@iusearchlinux.fyi 51 points 1 year ago (3 children)

When this editorial came out a few days ago, I decided to cancel my WaPo subscription as the straw that broke the camel's back. I have been a subscriber for years, but I cannot deal with this ridiculous agenda they are pushing over and over again. Marriage isn't a default good thing. People should choose if they want to be married or not. If the institution is failing because women are making a feminist choice to take care of themselves, let it fail. They push this line over and over again and as someone who divorced a bad male partner, it's NOT OK.

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[–] magnetosphere@kbin.social 40 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I’m a hetero male. I won’t even date a woman who is a Trump supporter. I’d be extremely suspicious of any woman who hates themselves and others so much, no matter how attractive she seems.

I would also assume she has little to no respect for medical science. I don’t want to be around, expose my friends and family to (or worse, start a family with) someone who second guesses doctors or distrusts vaccines.

As a happily married man in my 50s who isn't dating anyone, if I found myself single again I would drag my penis across broken glass before I'd date a Trump supporter. I would be celibate for the rest of my life and live alone in a shack if the other option was to be involved with a Trump supporter.

If my wife had gone maga, I'd have gone full intervention. I'm a big believer in letting people be themselves, but there are lines that shall not be crossed.

[–] DevCat@lemmy.world 35 points 1 year ago

Oh. the crocodile tears I will shed for them.

[–] Poggervania@kbin.social 33 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Another interesting way to read that headline is “Jeff Bezos is very worried that American Women don’t want to marry Trump supporters.”

Because, y’know, he owns The Washington Post.

EDIT: tfw Jeff Bezos downdoots you twice

[–] 0110010001100010@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago

Which makes sense really, he profits off the idiots that constantly vote against their own best interests.

[–] mateomaui@reddthat.com 33 points 1 year ago

very ~~worried~~ delighted

fixed that for someone

[–] ladicius@lemmy.world 32 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Something remotely similar is happening in Germany: Eastern Germany is being fled by young women because of the bad economy in these parts of the country - and because the dating pool there is very, very unattractive. A lot of men that live there have traits and views similar to those who follow the maga cult, and that does not appeal to young women, not at all.

This makes the guys even more angry and therefore even more undateable. The circle continues.

[–] tnarg42@lemmy.world 31 points 1 year ago

Pretty sure this is just natural selection in action. Unfit mates are less desirable. This has less to do with political polarization and more to do with fundamentally unfit partners.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 26 points 1 year ago

Marriage isn’t in jeopardy, it’s just that a portion of straight people will either choose not to partake because their options are worse than nothing, and those options will not get to partake by nature of being worse than nothing.

My marriage is fine, because we’re both communists. My gf and her husband are happily married because they’re both left wing feminists. It would be a much worse problem if we made nothing worse than a trump supporter

[–] Novman@feddit.it 21 points 1 year ago

Good! Less americans in the future!

[–] BigMacHole@lemm.ee 19 points 1 year ago

Women having the Freedom to choose who they date is SOCIALISM!

[–] someguy3@lemmy.ca 19 points 1 year ago

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

[–] MeaanBeaan@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago (8 children)

I don't really understand the fear mongering going on here. It's not like if we decline past a certain level of marriages that all of a sudden marriages would go extinct. People who want to get married will still get married and people who don't, won't.

But I mean, even if they did, would we really be losing much anyway? Marriage has never quite made sense to me other than for tax purposes (which is a pretty cruddy reason to formalize being with someone forever imo)

It's always seemed super short sighted. People change. And you can't predict how they may change. Your partner that you love now could end up changing into someone you no longer love or worse. Committing to forever is just promising that you'll stay with them even if they make you profoundly unhappy. I've only got this one life to live. I'm not commiting all of it to someone I may not like being around later on.

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[–] Iwasondigg@lemmy.one 15 points 1 year ago

And me without my tiny violin. Boo hoo.

[–] jordanlund@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago

Forget "marry them", they don't want to fuck them much less marry them.

It's Lysistrata all over again... only been 2,434 years...

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lysistrata

[–] Kalkaline@leminal.space 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I say this with all seriousness: Trump supporters can go fuck themselves.

[–] triclops6@lemmy.ca 13 points 1 year ago

They may just have to.

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm almost curious to see what profiles on Christian Mingle look like in the MAGA age.

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