this post was submitted on 30 Nov 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

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4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

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5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

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6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

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If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

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all 45 comments
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[–] Entropy@lemmy.blahaj.zone 24 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I'm in a filthy gas station bathroom stall right now. I feel like that's a pretty good excuse.

[–] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 25 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You're in a filthy gas station bathroom, relaxed and comfortable enough to be browsing memes on your phone

[–] Entropy@lemmy.blahaj.zone 17 points 1 year ago

Doesn't mean I wanna put my hands on the ground lol.

[–] The_Picard_Maneuver@startrek.website 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] toomanypancakes@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Okay fine, geez. Everybody trying to get me working out.

There.

[–] The_Picard_Maneuver@startrek.website 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

And cut down on the pancakes

[–] Shiggles@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 year ago

Or don’t and just do

~100 calories for a medium pancake

~0.36 calories per pushup(all of this is googled and blindly trusted)

=277 pushups per pancake.

Totally worth it!

[–] Electric_Druid@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Ok but I gotta finish poppin' first

[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I just assume everyone on Lemmy is also on the can. It's anyone not??

[–] Risk@feddit.uk 3 points 1 year ago

If by 'can' you mean 'place where shit goes' and by 'place where shit goes' you mean 'work', then yes.

[–] MrShankles@reddthat.com 2 points 1 year ago

Currently on the toilet, having a pre-workout poop. It feels like Lemmy is watching me.

I was going to just do cardio, but I guess I'll add 20 push-ups at the end... I'm now too scared not to

[–] don@lemm.ee 2 points 1 year ago

pop pop goes the weasel, the weasel pop goes the weasel cuz the weasel goes pop

[–] TeckFire@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You know what?

I’ll compromise. Only 10 pushups now, but I’ll do another 10 every hour for the rest of the day. Deal???

[–] MrShankles@reddthat.com 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You caught me just as I was getting ready to workout. So I tacked on 30 push-ups to the end of my 30 mins of cardio. I hope you're happy, cause I'm exhausted

Glad to help! Lol

[–] 0x4E4F@infosec.pub 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I layed 30 CAT5e cables today, all at different locations, 450m of cable total... you really think I'm gonna get out of my sofa for pushups?

[–] aBundleOfFerrets@sh.itjust.works 1 points 11 months ago

Uhh yeah? Don’t you see the picture? The buff doge would like you to…

[–] pan0wski@infosec.pub 6 points 1 year ago
[–] bastian_5@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 year ago

I'm using the bathroom right now, have only gotten 3 hours of sleep at most, and am browsing Lemmy so that I don't get a panic attack over potentially not having my medication for two weeks...

[–] Tsanad@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago
[–] serpineslair@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

Haha good one, great meme.

Two slipped discs. Not happening.

[–] bigFab@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I did twenty half pushups. I had to get out of bed and now my heart beats like it's freaking alive. I hope you are satisfied.

[–] casmael@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago

Actually I sprained my pec minor sorry

[–] ericbomb@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

But I already worked out today and my arms hurt 😵 you want me to over do it???

[–] The_Picard_Maneuver@startrek.website 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] ericbomb@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

I did 21 cause you can't tell me what to do.

[–] blahsay@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Sign up for this - great cause and you feel amazing afterwards! https://www.thepushupchallenge.com.au/

[–] jackoneill@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Too crippled to get on the ground. Doctor’s note and everything.

[–] AVincentInSpace@pawb.social 3 points 11 months ago

k done now what

[–] Enzy@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago

Too drunk for this shit.

[–] Da_Boom@iusearchlinux.fyi 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Damn, I guess it's only fair

[–] happilybitchycowboy@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

No can do. My left arm is broke.

[–] cm0002@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Excuses! Your right arm is perfectly fine

I'm a lefty. That was my strong arm 💪

[–] 1984@lemmy.today 2 points 1 year ago

I'm sick but I will do it when I recover. Need to get started with exercise again.

[–] TheBlue22@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 11 months ago

I'm in a car my gamer

[–] manuallybreathing@lemmy.ml 1 points 11 months ago

I dont take orders from people who wear crosses, soeey doge

[–] Annoyed_Crabby@monyet.cc -1 points 1 year ago

I'm lazy. Should be a good excuse.