Why don't they have Wi-Fi in Church?
!They don't want to compete with an invisible power that actually does something!<
this post was submitted on 11 Dec 2023
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The power of zing compels you
Except Panera’s not even in the same league when it comes to completely unnecessary deaths… religion/ church has millennia & millions up on Panera.
Edit: Panera also has far less sweaty-palmed, Father Feelgood kiddie-diddling accusations as well.
Panera's doing their best! It's hard to compete when the other guy has a head start that spans basically all of recorded history
Let them cook
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You know what? That death lemonade isnt going to rape your kid so it is still better than church.
Ok but I’m still not going to church
I get a tasty lemonade, AND I get to die??? Sign me up!!
I haven't tried it, but I heard it's not actually that great. Though that one person who died had three of them, so what do I know
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Well, you get to die anyways, so that's lemonade && 1 = lemonade
How many people have died because of organized religion vs. Panera charged lemonade.
The entire world+ vs like, 3?
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Hi there, just dropping in to say that caffeine is more dangerous than cannabis
flies away
Edit:
Anti-weed Puritans trying to find ways weed is actually harmful
Meth is more dangerous than caffeine
shoots away
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To be fair, the church had killed more people than literally anything.
Mosquitoes would probably beat them, but they've had a hefty head start. The church are aware of this, of course, which is why they double down on the paedophilia to catch up.
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I don't blame people for not going to church. They don't even give you wine anymore, just grape juice. Jesus drank wine, why can't I?
I thought Jesus was wine or something like that? I've never participated in Christianity's cannibalistic rituals though, so I'm sure I'm a bit confused.
the wine only becomes Jesus' blood in your tummy unless you have an operation or autopsy then it turns back into wine just in the nick of time, apparently.
It's only cannibalism if you believe you are the same as God.
Arise, God-drinkers.
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How about neither?
No no, let's hear the lemonade out
Okay, but if Panera starts playing bad rock songs in praise of their lemonade, I'm leaving.
Its more likely than you think. Waffle house has a music label.
What if it's a banger? Coke seems to keep doing it so it's not outside the realm of possibility
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So I either have to die from needlessly over caffeinated soft drinks or deliver my own son to a molestation orgy club? What fucked up kind of choice is that?!
To be fair though, church is many times more deadly and 0% delicious 🤷
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Fuck knows what church has got to do with anything.
I must be out of the loop. What's church?
Random caffeine overdoses are preferable to repeated genocide…
Wait what
Panera has been selling some sort of lemonade with a ton of caffeine, and there have been a couple of news stories recently about it killing people.
It sounds like people aren't aware that "charged lemonade" has caffeine at all when they order it. Or maybe they realize it but aren't expecting 260-390mg.
Holy fuck where has this lemonade been my whole life???!?!?!
If you never see me post again, tell my mom I loved her!
"This lemonade has been actively killing people with caffeine overdose"
@rug_burn : man I gotta get me some of this stuff
Based low caffeine tolerance
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Fck. That seems like it's way more than your typical energy drink that's off the charts too.
I would love to know how that product development meeting went. "Hey people, we have this idea, think lemonade and coffee, but like 10 cups of coffee in a single lemonade.
It's like being kicked in the chest by a horse. It could kill some people and open us up to litigation, but man are the sales going to be way up there too!"
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For context, the energy drink sitting next to me has 160mg of caffeine.
For anyone concerned about their beverages. Following is a table of Recommended maximum daily intake of caffeine according to different age groups & categories: https://www.canada.ca/en/health-canada/services/food-nutrition/food-safety/food-additives/caffeine-foods.html
FDA's recommendations: https://www.fda.gov/consumers/consumer-updates/spilling-beans-how-much-caffeine-too-much
For measure: 8 oz (227 g) of Coffee has 80-100 mg of caffeine or 35-45 mg of Caffeine per 100 g of Coffee. (Average, numbers may vary accordingly.)
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I'LL TAKE 5
Reminds me of this, and why you can't easily get powdered caffeine anymore;
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/powdered-caffeine-death-fda-legal-action/
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