if you love what you do...
for me the greater challenge is that so many kinksters are actually very tedious people who really want to tell you about their sex lives in lieu of an actual conversation
this post was submitted on 01 Jan 2024
485 points (96.9% liked)
The Onion
4559 readers
790 users here now
The Onion
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
A friend of a friend once talked me into going to a munch, where some scenes were going to be done. I'm interested in seeing new things and try to be open to having my horizons broadened, so I figured why not?
I have to say, not only did I find it intensely boring, it was also about as much of a turn-off as I can imagine any in-person experience being.
usually a munch is for discussions and not for scenes. often in public bars and such too
Yeah, munch is basically kink recess. It's a get together for the community that is almost explicitly non-sexual, just because it's good and useful to have some time set aside for that.
Now, to be completely honest, I've never seen the appeal. I'm not in the scene to talk about the scene. But I appreciate the benefits of them for people that want that social aspect.
same, Im not really that interested in that kind of munching
I'm aware of that now, but at the time didn't know anything about it ... it was being done in a community space where there was a bar and plenty of space for activities.
Yeah, I can't imagine doing a munch where there's scenes involved, that just seems weird, but the ones I've been to just serve as like lunch with some like minded people who just happen to be talking about cock and ball torture in an iHop
Yeah, that was just what the organisers called it I guess.
Because being a kinkster is a hobby. It's different to how society treats sex.
Yeah, I've encountered this. Not everyone in a community is a tedious, kink-obsessed person, but they will be the ones there the most, and it feels like the only thing they actually care about sometimes.
I'm not shaming them, enjoy what you enjoy, but I feel the same about them as I feel about people who make weed a cornerstone of their personality.
It's true of anyone who makes an aspect of themselves their entire personality. They're kind of insufferable.
Basically sex geeks.
What’s a sex geek?
People super into hobbies, I mean. Like someone who's so into homebrew or model trains that they have abstruse knowledge and use jargon to the point of incomprehensibility.
People who geek out about sex. I mean no issue with that. I'm mostly jealous.
Don’t worry about it. We can start our own group. Come join me and my shell fish and horse hair kink
At this point it’s not just for kinks, it’s for modern sexuality and dating in general.
True tho. I dont care what you are if i like you and you like me we are good to go.
They're into sounding, worming, diapers, and raceplay.
WHAT IN THE UNHOLY FUCK IS WORMING
Eyeball licking. It's, um, unusual. And prone to infection. Proceed with caution
What
It's just eye licking.
Just...
I’m confused? What happens to you when you ask someone to suck your balls?
Not kink exactly but I had a boss who abbreviated Due To/From (when one segment of the business owes another for something) as DTF and I never figured out if he was trolling us, or had just never seen it used.
I don't know what it means and I probably shouldn't ask.
Down to fuck. A crude way of saying "m'lady/m'man, would you like to copulate with me?"
You didn't ask, but means Down To Frolicking
"Down to... (have some super) fun (times)"
Except the f doesn't mean fun and the parenthesis are added by me. But if both parties consent I'm sure it would be a lot of fun.
It’s not that bad you just have to start with a 4 letter acronym that means 6 words and from there you pick up a bunch of new acronyms that already mean something else to you and will randomly be used for their normal meaning without warning just to test if you’re paying attention
I have a kink for white cotton camisoles and croptops, the thin material ones. I don't know where it came from but it's very strong. If I felt that way about feet I'd consider myself odd. Is there an acronym for this?
"WCCC" for "White Cotton Camisole/Crop top Connoisseur"
Right, see you at the next munch.
Looking for WCCCT(TMO) call me at 555-5555 if interested
On second thought it seems more like you're joining a union with this abbreviation 😆
I think this belongs in c/nottheonion.
This is satire, so it wouldn't belong there.
Oh, I thought it was the place for everything that wasn’t The Onion.
Not the onion is for real news that sounds like it should be an onion article
No the hard times is also satire.
Are Reddit and Lemmy kinks? Because there are so many acronyms used here and there.
Remember r/WtWFotMJaJtRAtCaB
(When the Water Flows over the Milk Jug at Just the Right Angle to Create a Bubble)
True of gaming as well.
So many different bois. But I just want one for myself.