The most common payment providers for NSFW sites is Epoch or CCbill I know some fairly small sites that use them and have mostly no issues with them. However I have heard their customer service isn't the best. Unfortunately payment in the NSFW field is in need of a shake up.
Lemmy NSFW
Updates about lemmynsfw.com
Cost saving idea: if you could find a way so that media posted goes out to the IPFS network, it could help with the bandwidth needs potentially. But the apps would need to support it too, and the web view wouldn't probably get much benefit unless the user's browser supported IPFS too
Excuse my (possible) naitivety; but where are specific subgroups within this server? So can't folks post specific content to those subgroups?
If you're a dude posting your dick, post it to "dicks@lemmynsfw"
Or if you are posting your pussy, same thing, put it on "pussy@lemmynsfw"
It seems to me that if people are doing that, then when people subscribe to a subgroups, they will end up seeing what they want to see.
Or heck, create a subgroup "dicks&pussy@lemmynsfw"
Just trying to think about how to create a situation where upvotes / down votes are less critical to users.