this post was submitted on 10 Aug 2023
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Memes

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[–] Dubious_Fart@lemmy.ml 137 points 1 year ago (7 children)

please use hydrogen and not helium if you do this.

Helium is a precious, essential, non-renewable resource that the world is actually running out of.

[–] Roundcat@kbin.social 37 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Now I'm just imagining them coming back down, combusting, and people thinking the war of Armageddon has begun.

[–] atocci@kbin.social 13 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Is this why I can't just go to the party store and buy hydrogen filled balloons?

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[–] johnthedoe@lemmy.ml 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

St Peter checked them at the gates and all got sent back

[–] c0mbatbag3l@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

"The fuck made you think Paul was so important?! The dude was one of the false prophets Jesus warned about, you morons!" -St. Peter, probably

[–] Bizarroland@kbin.social 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Better yet, attach a small explosive to them so once they get enough attention and people think the rapture is coming they suddenly burst into flames and explode.

That way the Christians really won't know what to think.

[–] Gork@lemm.ee 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

"God works in mysterious, explosive ways."

[–] state_electrician@discuss.tchncs.de 12 points 1 year ago (3 children)

That's something I find funny. The second most abundant element in the universe and we're running out of our supply.

[–] siewyuk@monyet.cc 11 points 1 year ago

It's not a laughing matter. The world used to be He He He He He He He but soon there'll be no more He He He.

[–] Dubious_Fart@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Because we don't have spaceships to go out into the universe to collect it, so all we have is what has been trapped in deposits underground.

and a lot of it has been wasted on stupid shit like party balloons, and the overwhelming majority of the population does not understand how critically important helium is to manufacturing and medicine.

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[–] Catweazle@social.vivaldi.net 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

@state_electrician @Dubious_Fart, the most abundant element in the universe, not renevable, is human stupidity

[–] stebo02@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You're right but the real advice is: just don't do this at all. These balloons pollute our oceans and forests.

[–] radioactiveradio@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Fuck the ocean, everything in there is scary and dangerous, we should nuke the sharks. Mostly /s

The height of "edgy" in the Eighties was a "Nuke a Gay Whale for Jesus" bumper sticker.

[–] stebo02@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

we've already done that. mostly. no /s unfortunately

[–] wischi@programming.dev 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] Dubious_Fart@lemmy.ml 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Don't cover the sex dolls in what amounts to thermite and you should be fine.

[–] PyroNeurosis@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

Some cathing fire would probably help sell it: those poor sinners didn't get in!

[–] MechanicalJester@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago

Scarcity smarcity - do it so you can attach tiny timed fireworks to them, at the feet so they float upright and then EXPLODE at like 1000 feet

[–] Ducks@ducks.dev 2 points 1 year ago

Just release them far away from any power lines

[–] MonkderZweite@feddit.ch 1 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Eh? Can't we just pull it from the air?

[–] Dubious_Fart@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 year ago

No, its literally lighter than air. it floats out into space, and it is not in a dense enough concentration where its possible to reharvest anyway.

[–] ArchmageAzor@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

No, there's not enough in the atmosphere

[–] garyyo@lemmy.world 59 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Given the type of people that we are targeting here I think that helium blow-up dolls are are a bit of a waste, especially considering the scale that we would need to perform this on to actually make it somewhat believable. Better would be to use hydrogen, its soo much cheaper than helium, has better lift, and is not a limited resource. Along with that a custom order of human shaped and roughly human colored (with painted on clothes patterns) balloons would work better. Likely a lot cheaper if done at larger scales, blow up dolls are made of tougher material than your average balloon. This would also allow for the pursuit of more sustainable materials given that we are just sort of releasing this stuff into the sky.

There is also a matter of making it realistic. If we are limiting to maybe one city then its best to create some devices that automatically release them on timed schedules. load these up with a handful of people balloons each and let them release with increasing frequency throughout the day. Should be a bit more convincing and gets a bigger effect. For cleanup we already filled these guys with hydrogen, so why not just light them up. might make for a good effect and leave less waste to be examined, making it more difficult to prove that this is not a rapture event.

[–] VieuxQueb@lemmy.ca 27 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You got it all tought out beforehand didn't you?

[–] anarchyrabbit@discuss.tchncs.de 20 points 1 year ago

Dude was waiting for this moment a long time!

[–] Mothra@mander.xyz 10 points 1 year ago

Sounds like a plan. I'm in

[–] s1ndr0m3@lemmy.world 40 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That bottom left picture is from the TV show "Six Feet Under." In the scene the helium filled blowup dolls get loos from the net holding them down. A woman sees the dolls flying by and assumes the rapture is happening. She runs out into the street yelling, "Take me Jesus!" And then gets hit by a car and dies.

[–] tipicaldik@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

That one has to be my favorite death scene of the whole series. That show was sooo good...

[–] Poem_for_your_sprog@lemmy.world 35 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Nono, use hydrogen and have ignitors on a timer or altitude switch.

[–] MrShankles@reddthat.com 11 points 1 year ago

What a fresh sprog! Beautiful as always

[–] Freshfrozenplasma@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

I look forward to your poems sprog!

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[–] FollyDolly@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

May god raputure them right into the power lines.

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

Wrap them in tinfoil for maximum radar cross-section

[–] neptune@dmv.social 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Ahhh, the ole Six Feet Under cold opening.

[–] Bunnylux@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

Was gonna say!!!!

[–] Lazerbeams2@ttrpg.network 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You need to weigh the feet down, but I'm willing to help. Cheap shoes and duct tape should do the trick

[–] NoStressyJessie@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Save the money and waste, just tape some coins to the bottoms of the feet. The bottom doesn’t have to be that much heavier.

[–] janNatan@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You think coins are cheaper than stones?

[–] NoStressyJessie@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

“Shoes” is a really funny spelling of “Stones”

Edit: Got curious, and in my area there aren’t many rocks or stones, so you would have to buy them. They come in bulk between 2 and 3 inches in size at about a dollar a pound. For thirty pounds. Pennies take between 145 and 181 to make a pound depending on the materials of the penny. The pro to coins would be that you didn’t need to buy extra to maintain a precise weight per inflated sex doll, and they could be balanced easily on both feet for weight, where as with stones you would need to make sure you are well balanced for every doll and for every foot. Assuming you could instantly sort them all into evenly weighed piles you would still likely have stones left over, either as excess, or as outliers in our balancing that would be difficult for you to sell or get any other utility from.

In that case, yes, it’s cheaper to use coins because of the time sink and wastage that bulk stones would create, assuming an endless field of stones, the time spent sorting them into sizes and balancing them would cost more in labor than the pennies lost is worth.

[–] janNatan@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I didn't consider the balancing part, but gravel parking lots negate your other points in my opinion. But, then again, my confusion of shoes and stones negates everything anyway.

[–] NoStressyJessie@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The majority of the population in the states resides in metropolitan areas. I am one of them. There are no gravel parking lots. The closest we could come is breaking up the sidewalk antifa style 😉

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[–] wheeldawg@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 year ago

It my mom saw that she would lose her shit.

[–] z500@startrek.website 3 points 1 year ago

And go out in the middle of the night before and leave piles of clothes all over town

[–] MrFlamey@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Omg, I'm dying at this image

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