this post was submitted on 09 Aug 2024
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I setup the replacement Xbox last night and am finally sitting down and giving it a crack. I have Minecraft, knockoff coke Zero from aldi, a full belly, and a comfy couch. Life is good.
nostalgia trip
In 2016 (or maybe 2017), my mum surprised me with an Xbox from my birthday. It was an Xbox 360 E, and a copy of Minecraft. That was my first time on a console, and I stayed up all night playing it. Literally all night. Probably needless to say she was less than happy I was still up when she woke up, but she just let it be. I had a lot of fun, and also had a few cans of coke over night. That's a core memory of mine that I've never really been able to recreate. There was such a feeling of carelessness and peace that night, a feeling I unfortunately very rarely experienced during my youngest years.
continuation, but less of a fun memory more of a historical vent, probably more sad
That was when I was really struggling with "school refusal", as they call it, and mum was really trying to push me to go. It was a very difficult time, and led to such a feeling of helplessness, probably for both of us. That's probably why I enjoyed the care free feeling the games provided - a little safe haven away from the constant chaos and incessant disappointment and despair of the real world. A world where the biggest concern is placing enough torches to keep the zombies away.
Interesting. The local library was my safe haven as a kid. Or any book really. I predate xbox and electronic games so there wasn't a huge lot of choice. Nowadays my local library makes a big deal about being 'fun' and 'lively' and 'inclusive' - which to kid me sounds like hell on earth. So it wouldn't be available as a safe haven now. I suspect we all need a safe haven in our lives - and find it in a variety of places. Another very unfashionable opinion of mine is that quite a lot of illegal drug use gets its root cause in the search for a mental safe haven in a hostile universe, albeit a temporary one with a huge downside.
I used to spend a bit of time at the library too. They offered 2 hour wifi passes, where they had little pins on a receipt their staff would print for you. If you asked nicely, they'd give you 2 for a total of 4 hours of wifi. It was great for me, because we didn't have enough money for broadband, and we were with Telstra on a 3gb for $30 plan, which never lasted long (this was during the times a lot of people were getting unlimited internet, and YouTube and Netflix were at the height of their popularities). I used to ride my scooter (with no helmet... Classic country town) down to the library every weekday I wasn't doing anything (they were closed after 4pm and on weekends), and I'd download a bunch of YouTube videos onto an old spare phone that we had. Also some music, and occasionally I'd borrow some DVDs.
There were a few fun characters at the library. There was a lady called Margaret who worked at the library and absolutely despised kids. She acted all nice and friendly when parents were around, but as soon as pretty much anyone under the age of about 16 was alone, she would scowl at them and was just very very rude. There was also a lady who was missing a few teeth and sounded like a child (reminds me of doreen from prisoner), she used to rant at me about how useless 5 cent coins are, after she saw me paying for a late fee with a couple of 5 cent coins
100%. Any form of escapism that makes us feel like we have some freedom… It’s a strong imprint in our formative years…
I think a lot of us still chase it, be it knowingly or unknowingly.
Hope you continue creating other good memories. Might not be exactly the same, but you can get pretty close. ✨
Thanks llabsy, I appreciate it. New memories will come, although sometimes it takes a few years for them to change from neutral into good