this post was submitted on 09 Aug 2024
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Programmer Humor

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[–] CodexArcanum@lemmy.world 126 points 3 months ago (6 children)

I should get to work on my opus, "Dirty Code"

Inside I'll reveal all my secrets like: not writing tests, not documenting anything, putting the whole app into a single python file, object-disoriented relational mapping, obscure SQL tricks, unobscure no-sql tricks, and more!

[–] eager_eagle@lemmy.world 57 points 3 months ago (1 children)

object-disoriented

I'll steal this to shit talk about code; until git blame points to my past self

[–] Tlaloc_Temporal@lemmy.ca 5 points 3 months ago

Github, but it's afraid of commitment, it just wants to spoon.

[–] tetris11@lemmy.ml 31 points 3 months ago

Just make sure the first chapter is dedicated to spaghetti, and contains various GOTO statements telling where the reader where to go shove it and other obscenities.

[–] pfm@scribe.disroot.org 7 points 3 months ago

I hope your book won't have a table of context and those stupid indexes. If they read it, they should know where you mention topics, right? Tables of contents considered harmful! /s

[–] mesamunefire@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago

I like "how to build APIs you won't hate".

[–] Tja@programming.dev 4 points 3 months ago

I hope the tricks are only supported on kafka's ksql.

[–] MonkeMischief@lemmy.today 3 points 3 months ago

I read a book like this once! It was like, "how to code badly."

It was actually kinda fun.