this post was submitted on 10 Aug 2024
96 points (91.4% liked)

Ask Lemmy

27254 readers
1390 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

geteilt von: https://lemmy.world/post/18499026

https://www.mystateline.com/news/national/almost-half-of-young-men-have-never-approached-a-woman-romantically-study/

“In the entire dataset, 29% of men said they never approached a woman in person before. 27% said it had been more than one year. This was larger for men in the age 18-25 group: 45% had never approached a woman in person,” according to the study.

A majority of single males surveyed reported fear as the main reason they do not approach women for dates in person. Fear of rejection and fear of social consequences were the two most common responses.

The data highlights a growing concern in the United States and abroad — loneliness. A 2023 report from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services found that almost half of U.S. adults report “measurable levels of loneliness.”

It's interesting to say the least. It seems as though the social repercussions and rejection are the most profound reason. While the fear of rejection is easy enough to digest. But I think the fear or social consequences is a relatively new construct.

From what I understand it's the fear of being viewed as a creep to approach a woman out of the blue. Which to me, is reasonable enough. But I don't think I have ever heard my old man or anyone of his generation bringing this to the table.

Yet I do remember asking my friends about picking up hints and whether or not men are really that bad at it. And most them saying the just don't want to risk misinterpreting it.

Perhaps there is an argument to be made that approaching women like this, has fallen out of social fashion. What do you guys think?

p.s. I hope this is casual enough of a conversation. I kinda screwed up my last one, I admit.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] Randelung@lemmy.world 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)

How to be a millionaire.

  • work hard attitude
  • get up at 5am
  • get a million dollars from parents.

how to talk to women.

  • be light hearted
  • don't put her on the spot
  • have talked to her previously.
[–] hellothere@sh.itjust.works 1 points 4 months ago

Tl;dr women are humans, talk to them as humans, and maybe they'll be up for making another human with you.

This comparison is ridiculous as they are completely different. This isn't about talking to other humans, it's about trying to establish a romantic relationship. It isn't a tautology that to date someone you had to speak to them.

Having spoken to someone a little bit before asking them out for a date is very standard behaviour in every environment outside of locations where people are there specifically to find a romantic relationship (be that just sex, or more), like a bar, tinder, speed dating, etc.

It's like, don't just approach a woman in the office that you've never spoken to, and ask her out. It's very unlikely (but granted, not impossible) that she wants to go from total strangers, to starting a relationship with romantic intentions, with someone she also has never spoken to.

But, if you're making a coffee and she's there too, be friendly and talk to her. Ask socially normal and typical questions like if she had a good weekend, and if so what did she get up to. If she's receptive, keep talking to her. Once this has happened a few times, and she's engaging with you - rather than just being polite and trying to get away ASAP - then ask her out. This doesn't have to take a long time, it could be as quick as a couple of days, if you're getting good responses from her.