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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/kyomagi on 2023-07-22 00:05:09.
A few months ago, my wife and I were planning a long distance trip for two weeks to Japan with one of our closest friends who has never been. We get everything paid for and just sit back. Around the same time, one of my long distance friends catches wind of our trip and starts making comments about how they wish they could go, then turns into them asking about pricing and budgeting, and what it cost.
I go through what the expenses were and realized I should have stopped all talk when they started using the word "we" and "us" when the trip came up, but i was too excited and missed the signs. I think nothing of it until i was told they were calling me about the trip. Turns out, they wanted to know when our flight was, where the layover was and what info they need for flights. After a brief hold, we talked it over with our friend who was ok with them coming along as long they knew were not going to be attached to the hip.
A couple of months go by and the language they are using, them booking the same resorts as us and wanted to go where we would go, started to bother me, but i let it slide because i reiterated that we are all adults and we will be doing things separately for the majority of the trip. That warning, again, was ignored as they were asking what days we were going to universal and TDL. We relented on universal but not for TDL. They also were having major issues with their debit card to pay for things, it was continually denied, which was and still is a huge red flag to me, even though eventually it finally went through. They were also talking to my wife looking at her to be "trip mom" since she speaks Japanese and can partially read Katakana and some Kanji, which was making my wife extremely stressed out, she did not want to be "trip mom" she just wanted to be there and go with the flow
Fast forward to a week ago, and i find out that the husband was being overly friendly and "lovey dovey" toward my wife in the claim of being supportive of my wifes "insecurities" None of the messages were sexual, but a lot of things a SO or husband/wife would say to each other to comfort them, including offers of being held and hugged for long periods of time. This made her very uncomfortable and like wise, me very upset. I finally put my foot down and said enough is enough.
1 Dont talk to my wife like that anymore
2 Outside universal, we are two separate parties, thats it. and no, my wife is not going to be the "trip mom" I will not have my wife be around them if they are going to make her feel uncomfortable
I was briefly helping them budget for for misc items in the hopes they go on their sperate way because a part of me should have put a stop to it at the very beginning before they spent money, but never did, and i feel bad about it. My other major concern is that somehow they are going to get stuck with their ATM/Debit cards not working and look to us for help, which we absolutely will not do.
AITAH for all this? (Crossposted)
what