this post was submitted on 24 Sep 2024
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Lemmy Be Wholesome
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Ideally yes. This is me and Mrs. Warp Core and I wouldn't change it for the world.
However...
Well, let me put it this way. Ever have a best friend that, after spending a lot of time around, you find out that you actually can't stand more than a few hours at time? That is absolutely a possibility here. Only now their stuff is in your house (or vice-versa), and/or they're on the same lease.
$0.02: It may not always be advisable, but absolutely benchmark the practical aspects of your romance long before tying the knot. Long-term co-habitation is not the only route here. Consider other ways to rack up large blocks of time: getaway vacations, long weekends, or even just "play house" for a few days at a time. You'd be amazed at what horrible, terrible, filthy, obnoxious habits your partner has when "at home." The reality is that everyone is a bit (more) of a mess in private, and the only real question you have to answer is: "what am I willing to put up with?"
I took a getaway vacation with a woman I had been dating for 3 months. We got back and haven't corresponded since then. That was a few years ago.
I'm a full blown mess in private or public, they know what they're getting into before seeing me at home. I have no shame
My sister did this with her then boyfriend by canoeing down the Mississippi River.
I still cannot fathom how anyone thinks it is a good idea not to do these things with another person before marrying them. My wife and I were both adamant that we live together and go on trips together and do "married" things long before we made that decision. I like to think we ironed out many of the early kinks without the pressure of "we're married so this absolutely has to work" lingering over us.