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Straight men, what's the weirdest thing you've been told you can't do because it's gay? (lemmy.world)

submitted 3 weeks ago by return2ozma@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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[–] TheImpressiveX@lemmy.ml 132 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

They planned to get some dinner and have some beer after a hard day's work but needed to wash their very dirty hands first. So they went back into the bathroom and washed their hands. Well apparently that was too "gay" for the owner of the bar and they went over to the bathroom and started saying things like "I don't know what you think you're doing in there" and "I just need to make sure you're not doing anything funny".

Fellas, is it gay to practice basic personal hygiene?

[–] WadeTheWizard@fedia.io 72 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Washing your hands implies you touched your penis and touching penises is gay.

[–] Archer@lemmy.world 14 points 3 weeks ago

Only straight way to use a urinal is helicoptering, got it

[–] hitmyspot@aussie.zone 7 points 3 weeks ago

I usually just wet my pants to avoid touching my own penis so I don’t get perceived as gay. Shit, I just used the word perceived. Gay af.

[–] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 29 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I think the bar owner thought they might be going into the bathroom to do gay stuff, not that washing their hands is gay.

[–] lunarul@lemmy.world 41 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Two men walking in the bar and going straight to the bathroom together. Man jumped to conclusions.

[–] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 38 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Well it is called "homophobia" and a "phobia" is an irrational fear.

He lives his life in fear of two consenting men. Lol

[–] eldavi@lemmy.ml 21 points 3 weeks ago

I had the realization recently that homophobes think of gay sex as often as I do; but they have to jump through mental gymnastics to get it while I simply open up app and I'm back to normal an hour or so later.

I can't image how hard it is to be happy and hold such a defining part of your life with such contempt at the same time and that was the first time I've ever felt sorry for a homophobe; it was for Aaron shock.

[–] randomuser38529@lemmy.world 8 points 3 weeks ago

They went in straight. All good then.

[–] Contentedness 3 points 3 weeks ago

The conclusion id jump to is that they were going in there to do some drugs.

[–] NoIWontPickAName@kbin.earth 11 points 3 weeks ago

Wait… you’re not washing your asshole are you?

You can’t be having fingers near your butt, same with wiping