This has been nurdling round in my brain for a bit, then I heard one of Belle Robertson's one minute audios that really helped clarify it.
Sober supports/tools can b split into five categories. You don't have to jump in with both feet and do all the things (although I do recommend doing food and sleep every day), but if your sobriety starts feeling a bit rocky, can you add in a new support? don't try harder, try different.
connection/group/you're not alone in this:
listening to sober audios/podcasts
face to face meetings, zoom meetings
reading other sober stuff (newsletters, blog, quit lit)
Self-soothing (calm calm calm things)
Going to bed (there's nothing like being under the duvet, in your pyjamas with your teeth cleaned for stopping a booze run)
Time with pets
treats
nice alcohol-free drinks
Treats planned in advance - bath, haircut, cookies
change the channel in your head
Music
A TV show/movie that you will get into
Going for a run/walk/bike ride
Yoga
Prayer, meditation
Self-care (these can blur into self-soothing, but to me, self-care items are the basics you need to stay alive)
Food
Shower
Exercise
Sleep
Accountability
Sober coach
addiction counsellor
Sponsor
Therapist
apps (in my first month, the knowledge that I'd have to reset three different trackers, and that I couldn't be arsed, kept me sober more than once).
I find cravings can be addressed with HALT the BS
am I
Hungry
Angry
Lonely
Tired or Thirsty
Bored
Stressed or Sad
if I work out which one of the above applies, and address that, then cravings will typically disappear.
Gout. Gout is the biggest hammer in my toolbox. And I found this thumb-detector the hard way.
I love to drink, and I drink like the sailor I am. I steadily cut back the frequency and volume of my drinking as I aged, primarily because I don't drink swill, and that gets expensive quickly. Also, what I like to drink can be tricky to find and/or seasonal, so that was always a natural limiter on my drinking. And finally, it was getting harder to stay fit, so that further limited my drinking.
Last week though, I woke up in the middle of the night in excruciating pain. My entire foot was on fire. I have a high pain tolerance, but this is up there with stuff like tearing my plantar fascia and sepsis. I couldn't even move my foot if I wanted; the joints refused to respond to commands. Digging into the medical literature, this is one of the more painful things that can happen to the body, however still not in appendicitis and kidney stone territory. My neighbor has gout, and she said her "mild" case far exceeds the pain of childbirth. 0_0
I couldn't walk (still can't). Laying down caused my foot to throb. The pain at night is so bad that I couldn't sleep, even with prescription-only anti-inflammatories and opiates. And I eliminate anything that messes with my sleep.
If you don't have gout, count yourself lucky. Alcohol is hugely inflammatory, but I thought I was in good stead. With this first gout flare, I completely stopped drinking instantly. I can deal with pain, but when my joints refuse to work, that's the kind of thing that gets in the way of living and sailing. And I live on my boat.
In the US, medical care is a joke even with health insurance. But for the love of your body and sanity, get your blood markers checked in an annual physical! You really don't want to experience gout, and you really, really don't want to find out the hard way you have it.
Be graceful to yourselves fellow non-drinkers. And thank you for being here today.
I'm so sorry you're going through this - I really hope you can get some effective treatment.