Asklemmy

43939 readers

377 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

Open-ended question
Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Lemmyverse: community search
sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
!lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 5 years ago

MODERATORS

Women of Lemmy, how to pleasure someone that does not enjoy any clitoris stimulation? (lemmy.world)

submitted 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) by MTK@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

NSFW 71 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Well, as the title says, I'm facing an issue that I'm not sure how to improve.

My partner does not enjoy any sort of clitoris stimulation, I tried everything from rough to gentle, from fingers to tongue, with lube and without. It seems that she truly does not enjoy it in anyway.

She does enjoy penetration very much and I put all of my efforts there, but I feel like I can't get her to an orgasm/higher pleasure and while she is satisfied right now I fear that over time she wont be.

So my question is what else can I do? There are some other pleasure areas that we use such as ears, emotional connection, fantasies, dirty talk, etc.

Maybe something I haven't tried on the clitoris? Maybe something else that can take it to the next level? Maybe something that she can do? Maybe just accept that this is okay? Again, she does enjoy herself a lot and is completely satisfied as far as I know, but as I'm her first I think that she is missing out on a level of pleasure that I can't figure how to help her achieve without the clitoris.

ETA: she does not masturbate, so no guidance or hidden methods on her part.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] SwordandArt@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Not a woman but a good question to think about is can she orgasm through masturbation? If so ask her to explain and/or show you and incorporate it into your play time

[–] MTK@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Not applicable as she does not masturbate

[–] SwordandArt@lemmy.world 17 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Very fascinating. I assume it’s a topic that has already been explored but if not it could be illuminating to do so.

Other recommendation is to explore gspot stimulation with fingers/toys and anal stimulation if she is into it.

Ultimately though don’t worry too much about this if she says she is satisfied. But the lack of clitoral stimulation could require some medical investigation. Something like her hormones could be off.

[–] MTK@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

Thank you!

[–] randomperson@lemmy.today 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Women who don’t know their own bodies have a tough time orgasming. Get her a toy to use by herself, or convince her to start exploring her own body.

[–] Septimaeus@infosec.pub 4 points 2 weeks ago

Agreed just FYI you probably mean “encourage” rather than “convince.” If they don’t want to explore their body for whatever reason, OP shouldn’t attempt to convince them.

(That said, if they are uncomfortable with their own body/sexuality, it might be something to bring up with a mental health professional, since there’s usually a lot to unpack there.)