this post was submitted on 13 Nov 2024
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While 100% in the don't fake it camp, please also remember us men are not mind readers and our equipment works different. Much like with cooking and cleaning, if you don't tell us what we are doing wrong or better yet show us the right way, we are going to assume we did our part cause we got the result we wanted and you didn't complain or ask for something different.
Also a woman's ability to cum varies HIGHLY from person to person.
I'd say day to day as well, depending on many factors (stress, energy level, hormones, etc.)
Just communicate and see what's working or not, or if anything works at all. It will make the sex better for everyone involved.
I've noticed a pretty direct correlation with a woman's habit of masturbating and her ability to orgasm during sex. The chick I was seeing just before I went back to college, I'd believe it if you told me that I've played with her clit more than she ever has TO THIS DAY, and guess what? She never once gave me any suggestion on what she wanted me to do, I'm sure because she genuinely didn't know.
Funnily enough, this is the case for men too. Hence all the "this has never happened to me before" memes on TV shows in the 90s and 00s.
Funnily enough, your wife said the same thing.
Yes! Also, tell your male friends to communicate and actively ask what feels good!
Edit: Also
Yes! This does wonders!
What I happened to notice with different girls as a guy is that for many, of not most, telling/showing the right way is a turn-off and having something the right way without showing first is a source of tremendous excitement.
With that said, we, men, are still not mind readers, and women really do have it very differently, so some common sex education, while useful, can only cover the basics, and even they are not universally applicable.
I don't think OP is talking about a PowerPoint presentation (unless that's your kink, you do you), but more like some verbal cues "faster" "don't stop" "a little lower" etc. If the guy has a reasonable amount of attentiveness and experience, he should be able to get her 80% of the way there. Also, little cues like that can be hot as well because we know she's into it and stuff.
I dunno man, most women in my experience have all really appreciated (and as much said out loud) that there was communication. Sure, if it happens without any prompting or guidance, it’s mind blowing because it feels like there’s something naturally special going on, but that’s a pretty rare thing. Sexual compatibility can be tweaked and guided, for sure, but then again there are also people who just don’t have it together.
There are also just toxic people that want perfection with zero work. But that’s not how shit works, even if they can be a vocal group
Fake orgasm is very counter-productive, even when it's used as a feeling preservibg way of saying "I'm tired and bored, let's just finish you off and go back to watching tv"