You are talking to us here, now. I know you do rock climbing and weight lifting. If you have friends, you talk to them too. It's not different from that. You are doing it already. There's not a formula.

What friends can do is tell their friends you are a great guy and introduce you to other people. That's what networking is, the same way you network computers, you network human relationships, by connecting them.

[–] SomethingBurger@jlai.lu 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You are talking to us here, now. I know you do rock climbing and weight lifting. If you have friends, you talk to them too. It’s not different from that. You are doing it already. There’s not a formula.

I did not randomly send you a DM. We were both on the same thread (so a conversation subject was already decided), and the very structure of Lemmy makes it acceptable to reply to random people in various threads, with the added benefit of it being in written form. Real life is very different; I can't just listen to conversations people I don't know are having, and randomly interject when I feel I have something relevant to say.

What friends can do is tell their friends you are a great guy and introduce you to other people. That’s what networking is, the same way you network computers, you network human relationships, by connecting them.

I understand what that is, but it cannot work. I know one tried at least twice to hook me up with someone. They do not have the power to fix me. No one does.

[–] Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I can’t just listen to conversations people I don’t know are having, and randomly interject when I feel I have something relevant to say.

Damn, I feel that to my core. One of the few benefits people like us would've had in the pre-internet days, was that striking up casual conversations with strangers was considered more acceptable. Thankfully, my (also neurodivergent) father set an example for that when I was growing up - he chatted up everyone, and as a consequence seemed to know people no matter where he went. Yeah, some people probably thought he talked too much, but so what? He wasn't bothered, and he occasionally made actual connections through it. At the very least, I imagine most people would recognize my father as a friendly guy.

I try to let that empower me, even though it's much easier said than done. The thing is, if you go into a conversation expecting to be viewed negatively, it's going to impact how the interaction goes. Also, something that took me a painfully long time to learn, is that internet strangers can't substitute for therapy. Just because neurotypicals know how to do something, doesn't mean they can explain how they do it. I held that same expectation through my youth, but since NTs never had to go through the socialization process step-by-step in order to learn it, expecting them to break it down the way you want them to simply isn't going to happen.

That is, unless they've studied it and know how to give constructive advice that makes sense from your perspective. And at that point, you're actually seeking a therapist anyway.

[–] SomethingBurger@jlai.lu 0 points 1 week ago

The thing is, if you go into a conversation expecting to be viewed negatively, it's going to impact how the interaction goes.

How else can I be viewed? Joining someone else's conversation uninvited is very impolite. This is not acceptable behavior. It's annoying at best, creepy at worst.

And at that point, you're actually seeking a therapist anyway.

Therapists are charlatans. They aren't real doctors. They cannot heal, they cannot prescribe, they cannot operate.