General Discussion

12082 readers

15 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy.World General!

This is a community for general discussion where you can get your bearings in the fediverse. Discuss topics & ask questions that don't seem to fit in any other community, or don't have an active community yet.

🪆 About Lemmy World

🧭 Finding Communities

Feel free to ask here or over in: !lemmy411@lemmy.ca!

Also keep an eye on:

For more involved tools to find communities to join: check out Lemmyverse!

💬 Additional Discussion Focused Communities:

!actual_discussion@lemmy.ca - Note this is for more serious discussions.
!casualconversation@lemm.ee - The opposite of the above, for more laidback chat!
!letstalkaboutgames@feddit.uk - Into video games? Here's a place to discuss them!
!movies@lemm.ee - Watched a movie and wanna talk to others about it? Here's a place to do so!
!politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world - Want to talk politics apart from political news? Here's a community for that!

Rules

Remember, Lemmy World rules also apply here.

0. See: Rules for Users.

No bigotry: including racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, or xenophobia.
Be respectful. Everyone should feel welcome here.
Be thoughtful and helpful: even with ‘silly’ questions. The world won’t be made better by dismissive comments to others on Lemmy.
Link posts should include some context/opinion in the body text when the title is unaltered, or be titled to encourage discussion.
Posts concerning other instances' activity/decisions are better suited to !fediverse@lemmy.world or !lemmydrama@lemmy.world communities.
No Ads/Spamming.
No NSFW content.

founded 1 year ago

MODERATORS

Jessica@lemmy.world

ElectroVagrant@lemmy.world

fubo@lemmy.world

I'm going out on what is kind of sort of a date but I don't know what I'm doing. Would appreciate some thoughts lol (lemmy.world)

submitted 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) by dingus@lemmy.world to c/general@lemmy.world

22 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Context: I'm in my early 30s. I've only been on a date like once in my life a decade ago and it was awkward and I hated it. The guy was nice but I didn't know what I was doing and then he wanted to kiss and I didn't (and still don't) know how to do that either and I found it unpleasant.

I do not have the capacity for attraction like 99% of the world does, so I figured it meant that I cannot date anyone since I am incompatible with the world. I have always been that way and it was very confusing growing up. It's ok for the most part but it can get a bit lonely.

I also have intense social anxiety. My only friends are online and one coworker.

Well I will be visiting with a stranger who I am closer on the same page with in terms of them not instantaneously expecting sex. But I am panicking a little bit still and still don't know what to do about the attractiveness thing. I've not done anything like this before.

We're going to a nature trail. Tbh I wish it was an environment where I could have a drink because that helps me relax, but it doens't really make sense in this context lol.

I guess I don't know what kind of responses I'm looking for but idk help lol

Thanks

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] Zachariah@lemmy.world 1 points 5 days ago

Perhaps have a little chat with them about love languages (more accurately called appreciation languages) would help. Figure out together how each of you prefer to show and receive appreciation.

If physical affection of kissing isn’t your thing, do you like other physical affection? Or do you prefer quality time, gifts, etc.? Are you interested in providing them physical affection at some point down the line if that’s something that would make them feel appreciated? If not, let them know, so they can decide if that’s a deal breaker or if they’ll appreciate however you can show your affection.

This doesn’t have to be a serious talk. There are plenty of love languages quizzes out there, and those can be fun to do together to learn about someone (partner, friend, coworker, etc.).